Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Albert's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
6:31 pm	The Pink and Black Attack Is Back! So I tried to cook a beef stir fry last night. After all the fussing, it took about 2 and a half hours from start to finish, not counting the 3-hour break I took to go to the gym and work my frustrations out. It looks so easy at those greasy woks at Pacific Mall (or any place with a high concentration of Chinese fast-food establishments.) I suppose it wasn't bad for a first go, (Shelly liked it, or at least pretended to) but I made a lot of silly mistakes that could have been avoided. I'll be better prepared the next time I get a chance to try it out. Current Mood: exhausted (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
7:34 pm	This job... There are good days and there are bad days. Today's one of the bad days. Drugs really bring out the worst in people. Occasionally, it masks the worst in people too. Having to put up with a bunch of selfish, whiny, self-important children on top of the various other stressors in my life is *so* draining. And what is the hospital doing to honour nurses for nursing week? A basketball game! Yay! Definitely on the lookout for something else to do. Or at least something where I don't have to deal with patients that I want to beat sense into daily. And the 7 day stretches are getting to be too much. RN's do them once in a 6 week period. I do them every other week. There has to be something better out there. Current Mood: drained (Comment on this)
Friday, March 20th, 2009
11:20 pm	Club 300 After years of busting my ass, I have finally acquired a probationary membership in the 300lb club. According to the Urban Dictionary: "Pertaining to a class of weightlifter who successfully lifts a sum of 300 or more pounds either at-once or cumulatively. Typically, a high school football player is awarded a special patch signifying their entry into the club upon lifting this weight." Being a delicate Asian, I struggled through several sticking points over the years - 185lbs, 225lbs and 275lbs - each lasting several months. There were times when I thought that I had reached my genetic ceiling as well as encountering some ill-timed roadblocks, (various illnesses, a motorcycle crash and more recently, a toe fracture) but I suppose there are times when my ego gets the better of me and doesn't allow me to accept things as they are. We all have our demons and from time to time, my demons have me. I reached the 300lb squat club about 3 years ago - shamefully I have to admit that I didn't start squatting until 4 years after I started training. I reached the 300lb deadlift club, just a year ago because to my embarrassment, I hadn't started deadlifting until 2 years ago. Many thanks to Burt for showing me the path. Today, I successfully bench pressed 300lbs for 1 full-range rep with proper form. My voice boomed across the gym as I yelled with the exertion and many of the lifters stopped dead to see what was going on. I was so happy, after racking the weight, I ran 3 victory laps at top speed. Shades of the Ultimate warrior. It's not much to some of you guys, (Paul) but for a little guy like me, it's a big deal. Thanks to N.O. Explode (It does work, Dan) and to my new friend Zoltan for stopping me from being crushed halfway through my second rep. Because my strength seems to wax and wane like the phases of the moon, I feel that my membership in the 300lb club is on the probationary level and should be re-evaluated during the coming weeks. Tonight's accomplishment is a personal landmark for two reasons. Firstly, because it brings my lifetime goal of a 315lb bench press within reach. Secondly, it is a powerful reminder that with patience, perseverance and a little bit of faith, all things are possible. Right now, (20.03.2009 @ 2310) I feel can feel power surging through my veins and yet I also feel an odd sense of peace. I might not have a patch to show for it, but the personal victory is enough for me. Happy first day of spring, everyone. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Lisa Miskovsky - Still Alive (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 14th, 2009
2:35 pm	Just north of the Highway 401 on Brimley Rd, Toronto Police Services frequently sets a speed trap. I know this because I've lived in the area for nearly 20 years and I drive this route every day. Today I got pulled over for speeding when I know for certain I wasn't. I make it a point never to speed on that road because I've lived in the area for close to 20 years and I know that Toronto Police *frequently* sets speed traps there. I was in the slow lane trailing a red Honda in the passing lane. The cop stopped us both but *decided* to pull me over - I say this because when he stopped us both, he paused for a bit before deciding what to do, which was to pull me over and let the Honda go. It's not a big deal for me. I can take it to court, get a court date a year down the road and plead guilty to 15km over the limit (the laser "clocked" me at 73km/h in a 50km/h zone) and get no demerit points. The trouble is, that this further hampers my efforts to secure employment with Toronto Police. Is this a sign that I just wasn't meant to be a police officer? What else is there? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
7:32 pm	So much has happened so quickly, I've had little time to update this page. For starters, there's Shelly. She's the most normal woman I've ever dated and she comes pretty close to being the most normal woman I've ever met. She's so amazing, at times I wonder what I've done to deserve her. Things are perfect. Too perfect. My only complaint (and it's not even a complaint) is that she sometimes talks while I'm trying to watch House. I'm not going to start spouting any mumbo-jumbo about soul mates or anything like that, but I will say that things are going great and that they will likely continue to be so for the foreseeable future. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ravenhawke is gone. Not dead or anything, but he decided to remove himself from my life, right after I decided to loan him $500. It's not like I haven't loaned him that much before, but this time, it almost seemed like he fabricated a quarrel with me in order not to have to pay it back. That's one possibility. Maybe he really is mad at me for trying to look out for his best interests. He said I changed. He's right. I did. I became more responsible and much more concerned with the future and how our actions affect our individual fates. I cautioned him not to spend money, time or resources on women who ultimately don't respect him. He took it as a personal affront. Maybe my tone was harsh, but ultimately, he's smart enough to know that my intentions were not at all malicious. We're all getting older and I just wanted him to not need for anything when he's too old to read. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Monday, September 24th, 2007
8:04 pm	Ravenhawke just plugged my journal. Wasn't expecting that. I'm listening to his radio show as I write this and he had mentioned that he could be Googled. As a gag, I sent him a text saying that Googling him would bring up my journal. So he plugged it. Not that I needed the extra readership, because I don't hold back with anything I say here. Reader beware. Current Mood: energetic Current Music: The Clovers - One Mint Julep (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
12:37 am	Oops Got a weird message from Ravenhawke on Thursday morning... "What the hell did you put in your blog? I met someone out east and they came across your blog and read that we were doing drugs and running around with a couple of hookers...you weren't even with me for Halifax this year. I tried to explain it but she totally blew me off. I'm wondering what the hell you wrote. She thinks I'm some womanizing drug addict. Give me a call and we'll talk about it." After checking back here, I noticed that I hadn't backdated the Halifax entry from 2006. I made the correction and called Ravenhawke to apologize profusely. I'm not sure who was reading the entry, but to draw from it the conclusions that they did is proof positive that people jump to conclusions all too quickly and that most people skip important details. Like that fact that neither Ravenhawke nor myself went anywhere near any drugs, for example. Or the fact that I can't really post something in July 2007 for something that Ravenhawke is accused of in August 2007. Ravenhawke says I'm psychic, but I'm not that awesome. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thursday afternoon, my sister had picked up my niece early from school because she was feeling sick from some bad pizza. She asked me to drop my niece off to my mother at work and I had agreed. There was a bit of construction on the road and as I was taking a ramp off the street onto an overpass, the car hit a bump where the grooved pavement met the smooth pavement. As the impact jarred the vehicle, I cursed under my breath. "Shit." At the top of the ramp, there was a set of traffic lights on red which forced me to stop. I took the opportunity to check on my niece, so I looked back at her in the back seat. She looked at me curiously with her innocent brown eyes and spoke. "Shit, what?" Current Mood: tired Current Music: The trickling of water from my serenity fountain (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 11th, 2007
4:52 am	Fresh from Bryan's wedding, where I'm told I didn't make a great impression as best man, I get another encounter where my lack of communication skill lands me in yet another embarrassing situation. I was at the gym earlier this morning and somewhere around 0200, this young Chinese couple walks in. Well, younger than me, anyway. She's a bit of a Barbie doll and he's a big and tall guy. Well, taller and seemingly larger than me - and I'm not a big guy. I'm on the flat bench, having not benched in more than a week trying to keep my strength up and this couple is doing their own thing. The guy's showing his girlfriend around the gym, showing her various exercises and such and I'm resting between sets. I can tell that he has little to no experience in the gym because he starts his workout with tricep pushdowns. Anyone who trains knows that larger muscle groups have to be trained before smaller ones for optimal results. Anyway, they're moving around the gym and I can see that they know where I am. There are only 3 other people in the gym at this point because it's 0200 and a guy all by himself on the bench stands out, particularly when he's the only person moving weights around. So I get up to get a sip of water from the fountain and as I come back, the guy has moved into the free weight area where all the flat benches are. I return to the bench I was using and as I'm standing by the bench mentally preparing for my next lift, I glance over at the bench he's standing at, which is a good 15 - 20 feet away. He catches my eye and gives me a nod. "Hey, are you on this?" he asks, pointing to the bench he intends to use, which has 135lbs on it. I have to admit, I thought it was kind of a dumb thing to ask, because the both of them knew where I was, (because they were watching me watch them) but in retrospect, I realize that maybe he was trying to break the ice with me. Of course, that thought hadn't occurred to me until I was driving home. So anyway, I thought it was a funny question and lately, I've been a bit humourless, so I half-smile (which probably looked like a smirk) instead of giving a full smile. "No, *I'm* on *THIS*," I said, patting my 245lb barbell. "Oh. Okay," he says, before turning away quickly and preparing to lift. At that moment, I realize that the inflection in my voice probably didn't happen the way I wanted it to and I must've seemed like I was totally snubbing the guy. I was mortified by my mistake and turned away to gather up the courage to apologize. By the time I was ready, it was too late. He finished his set and quickly walked over to his girlfriend. Feeling guilty, I quickly unloaded the barbell and left the benches to set up in the power rack for a supramaximal lift. He came back into the free weight area and did a few more sets on the flat bench while I set up the power rack. Eventually he moved to an incline bench which was a little closer to me and set up 115lbs. For my supramaximal lift, I set up 315lbs. He squeezes out a set of 8 while I'm standing by the power rack, contemplating my next move. I had never used the power rack and I had definitely never attempted 315lbs. I had set the pins so that I would only be working with the top 3-4 inches of the movement, which is not much, but I would still be required to lift that 315lbs for those 3-4 inches. After a few moments, I lie on the bench and it is as though some unseen force acts through me to lift the barbell. I marvel at the barbell, supported only by my hands and moments later, I lower the barbell to rest on the pins. Of course, it wasn't that gentle. The barbell hits the pins with a crash that echoes throughout the gym. I stood up to adjust the weights on the bar as they had become unseated during my lift and I looked up to see the Chinese guy looking at me with a bit of an awed expression. Missing another opportunity to apologize, I turn and head for the water fountain. I come back and hammer out 4 more singles as the guy moves across the room to use the decline bench. The guilt is eating me alive at this point, so I decide to move to the Hammer Strength machines. It's 0230 and I'm feeling like I want to leave, but I didn't feel like I had done anything, so I want to finish my workout hopefully with a bit of a pump. I work on the Hammer Strength incline press for a bit and as I get up, I notice the guy's girlfriend on the tricep pushdown station of another machine. For me to say that I didn't look would be denying my obligations as a hot-blooded male, so I'll own up and say that I looked. Trouble is, she looked back. I don't know what it is, but over the past 4 or 5 months, I have encountered all kinds of attention (read: trouble) from women who are supposed to be off-limits. (read: taken) Fearing the worst, I quickly glance away only to find that the guy had witnessed the brief interaction. Awk-ward. At that point, I decided to leave. On my way out, another Chinese guy comes in, spiky hair, one pant leg rolled up, and his fleece top unzipped halfway, revealing a decidedly undeveloped chest. Naturally, I have to see what this tough guy's going to do, (insert sarcasm here) so I pull a 180 and walk back onto the gym floor and over to the fountain to get another drink. It's 0300 at this point and I should be in my bed sleeping. Instead, I'm at the gym watching some metrosexual fob do quad stretches at the flat bench. At the flat bench! If you're going to bench, you stretch your arms and chest, not your quads! Come on! The young couple from earlier wanders into view and the girl notices me again. She makes deliberate eye contact and starts to smile. I walked off the gym floor and left. I swear I am not doing this on purpose. I didn't ask for any of this. God, I can be such a bastard at times. Current Mood: tired Current Music: The humming of my computer (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
9:53 am	Took me damn near a year to write that friggin' Halifax entry. It *should've* been posted September 2006. Ignore any errors I've left. I'll get to them later. I've already spent the last 2 hours doing final proofreading and I'm too tired to do any more. Now, onto the next story. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:30 am	Halifax Redux Part 2 Chapter 6 - Reversal of fortune I woke up to find Melanie's arm around my waist. It felt nice. I took her hand and squeezed it gently as she nestled in close to me. We lay there for a few minutes enjoying the moment. The downside was that I had to get up and go to the gym with Ravenhawke. "I have to go," I whispered. "No," mumbled Melanie, as she nestled in closer. "I have to go to the gym with Richard. I'll be back soon and then we can do this some more," I said, kissing her hand lightly. "Mmmmm....okay," said Melanie. I quickly got dressed just as Ravenhawke knocked on the door. I quietly slipped out and we went to the athletic centre across the street. We worked out, but my head was elsewhere. I couldn't get Melanie off my mind. After the workout, Ravenhawke went to shower, which allowed me a few more moments with Melanie. I climbed into bed and pulled her close. She draped her leg over mine and gripped me tightly. I don't know how long we lay there, but to me, it didn't matter. "This feels so nice," I said. "I could do this all day." "Mmmmm-Hmmmm..." came the reply from Melanie. After what seemed like an eternity, my phone rang. Melanie put up some token resistance as I tried to answer the phone. I crawled out of bed and picked up my phone. It was Ravenhawke. "Hey, how ya doin'?" "I'm doing great," I said, smiling. I *was* doing great for the first time in some time. "Goooood," said Ravenhawke, smiling. "I gotta get to the fair though, so I'm going to need you to drive me over." "Okay. I'll see you in a couple of minutes," I said. I hugged Melanie and promised to return before disappearing out the door. I drove Ravenhawke to the fair and chatted with him for a short time before I got a call from Cat asking me to meet them for brunch. I found them in a small diner not far from the residence. I was astounded at how quickly they were out of bed and ready. To shop. We started off at Booster Juice, which I had no problems with. Ripped Berry is definitely the way to go, although the High Impact Açai is a contender too. Açai isn't available in Halifax, so it would have to be the Ripped Berry. Booster Juice is a nice product, pricey though it is. I had given some thought to opening a franchise, but it's a very small niche market. For now, anyway. I won't completely put it out of mind, but I do have other things to do first. ( Read more... ) Current Mood: tired Current Music: The rumbling of the air conditioning (Comment on this)
9:28 am	Halifax Redux Part 1 - 09.08.2006 Please note that the events occurring in this entry took place in 2006. Yes, it took me almost a year to get it done. Prologue For weeks, I had been anticipating a return trip to Halifax since Ravenhawke had suggested that I return with him this year for another psychic fair. I was looking forward to seeing Sherri, a friend that I had made in Halifax and to visiting Peggy's Cove to sit by the ocean again. For about as many weeks, Buttons' health had been declining steadily since the onset of mammary cancer in her. I cradled Buttons' lifeless body as the mobile veterinarian and his assistant left. Having her euthanized was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Everyone says I've stopped her from suffering anymore, but I can't help but wonder if I've prematurely robbed her of precious life. 8 years ago, I got Buttons from Howard Morgan, an old friend that I met during my later high school days at Contact Alternative School. Kathy, an old ex-girlfriend had just moved out to live with Steve, the draft-dodging pseudo-hippy English teacher who had been fired from Contact for sexual harassment. Howard called me up one day after one of his wild club nights during which he rarely was able to bring a woman home. He wanted me to watch Buttons for a maximum of 96 hours, while her owner, some skanky club chick went away on vacation. He had no idea how to take care of a kitten and I had recently raised a second litter. With Kathy's cat Aurora gone and both Carwash and Haven fixed, I didn't see a problem with it, especially since it was just for a few days. 4 days later, I called Howard. He paged the club girl but got no response. It became all too clear what had just happened. Girl gets a cat she can't handle the responsibility of keeping. Girl meets boy. Girl asks boy to "watch" the cat for a few days. Boy agrees, believing he'll get a piece of the girl's tail after watching the cat's tail. Girl vanishes. Boy is stuck with the cat and egg on his face. Remarkably, I *have* heard of this before. Buttons had grown on me and it seemed as though she got along with the other cats, so I didn't mind keeping her. Here we were, 8 years later and Buttons was barely larger than she was when I got her. Somehow, her growth was delayed, despite receiving the same care as my other cats. I know I got mad at her for urinating on my things, but I never hit her and I never loved her any less than the others. I sobbed uncontrollably as I realized the impact of my actions and despaired that I couldn't do more to save her. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Please don't be mad." ( Read more... ) Current Mood: tired Current Music: The rumbling of the air conditioning (Comment on this)
3:51 am	So I'm sitting here at the nursing station and between the hours of 0200 and 0300 I'm doing some work creating new forms for the nurses to use. As I'm working away, I glance up at the monitor for a second and an overwhelming feeling of Deja Vu comes over me. I saw that moment in a dream a long time ago, (I don't remember how long) but I dismissed it because it totally didn't make sense. I've asked people if they've had similar experiences and most say they haven't. I wish there was some way to prove it. I know there are people out there that have dreams that come to pass. I swear I am not making this shit up. I am not mentally ill and I do not use substances. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 9th, 2007
4:58 am	Wow, it's been more than a month since I posted here. I wish I could say I was too busy, but that's just not the case. Things have been weird since my last significant post. I still haven't even finished my post from Halifax last year. It looks like I'm on nights for the next 5 weeks at my new post here in Addictions, so I'll have plenty of time to do all kinds of reading, writing and thinking. So much more to come, it isn't funny. Stay tuned. Current Mood: listless Current Music: The ticking of the clock on the wall (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 26th, 2007
10:10 am	Got a new car 3 weeks ago to replace the ailing Dodge Colt that I had been driving for the last 1.5 years. As luck would have it, I was contemplating replacing the factory stereo system when I discovered that I can link my iPod to it and play songs from it. w00t! Still working on a bunch of entries from last year. Eeeeesh. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
1:11 am	I want so badly to cry right now. But I can't. I'd say it's because I have nothing left, but I know that's not true. I hate feeling like this. I didn't do anything to deserve the shitcanning I just got. It's like I'm being punished, but I haven't done anything wrong. To anyone. I've just been working, training and concentrating on my police application. The second I open my heart to someone, I get shafted. I never hurt anyone's feelings. I never made anyone cry. All I want is to love someone who will love me in return. No games. No drama. No bullshit. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
1:19 pm	So I got called into a "special meeting" this morning. Some really important names were there. The President and Vice President of OPSEU, the Head of Human Resources, the Unit Manager, Administration Manager, the Clinical Head of Emergency Services and the Advanced Practice Nurse. All those people to tell me that I'm going to lose my position in EAU and be "redeployed" elsewhere in CAMH. The kicker is that I may not be redeployed into a nursing position. Actually, it's not just me. It's all the RPN's, which is much worse than I had anticipated. I'd suspected that I would be getting the axe for several weeks, but I thought I'd be the only one from ER/EAU to go. The OPSEU newsletter mentioned 17 RPN's being eliminated, but I thought they'd be from various parts of the Centre rather than all on one unit. The saving grace is that no one is left without a job. So far, anyway. At this point, it's looking like my last day in EAU is April 1st. This only reinforces the need to get hired onto Toronto Police for the April intake. Stage 2 testing on February 20th... Current Mood: blank Current Music: Live - Lakini's Juice (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 27th, 2007
12:19 pm	After a humiliating failure at my first attempt at the PREP test in 8 years back in October 2006, I was able to rock that bitch this morning, allowing me to progress to stage 2 testing in a few weeks. Fates willing, I'll be granted an interview and make it in time for the April class intake. It would be excellent timing, as there is a good chance I'll be laid off from CAMH or "redeployed" elsewhere as a part-timer thanks to the new budget proposal. It's taken me nearly 6 months to write about my second trip to Halifax this past August. I'm still plugging away at it though. More to come. Current Mood: calm Current Music: Jewel - Hands (Comment on this)
Monday, January 8th, 2007
10:37 am	New maximum barbell bench press - 275lbs Almost lifted 295lbs, but my arms gave out halfway during the lift. 300lbs is so close I can taste it. Damn. Current Music: Outkast - The Rooster (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
6:32 pm	This is my horoscope for today. Deep down inside, you know what is holding you back -- even if you don't want to admit it. But today, the universe is going to let you know that it is time to face up to it and get rid of it. You may get a glimpse of what will happen if you don't move on, or you may be shown the possibilities of what can happen to your life if you do. It can be difficult to accept when something is over, but if you hold on too long, you won't be doing yourself any favors. It's a couple of days late, but this is pretty much exactly what happened to me. More on this at another time. (Comment on this)
2:19 am	On Wednesday January 3rd, 2007, Thomas (Homer) asked me to be the only usher at his wedding in just over 6 months' time. Perhaps against my better judgement, I accepted. Better than being the best man a second time, I suppose. Weddings suck when you're single. (4 Comments |Comment on this)