Blog Noir

The Pink and Black Attack Is Back!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 22:43:39 GMT

So I tried to cook a beef stir fry last night.

After all the fussing, it took about 2 and a half hours from start to finish, not counting the 3-hour break I took to go to the gym and work my frustrations out.

It looks so easy at those greasy woks at Pacific Mall (or any place with a high concentration of Chinese fast-food establishments.)

I suppose it wasn't bad for a first go, (Shelly liked it, or at least pretended to) but I made a lot of silly mistakes that could have been avoided.

I'll be better prepared the next time I get a chance to try it out.

Sun, 10 May 2009 23:49:42 GMT

This job...

There are good days and there are bad days.

Today's one of the bad days. Drugs really bring out the worst in people.

Occasionally, it masks the worst in people too.

Having to put up with a bunch of selfish, whiny, self-important children on top of the various other stressors in my life is *so* draining.

And what is the hospital doing to honour nurses for nursing week?

A basketball game!

Yay!

Definitely on the lookout for something else to do.

Or at least something where I don't have to deal with patients that I want to beat sense into daily.

And the 7 day stretches are getting to be too much. RN's do them once in a 6 week period. I do them every other week.

There has to be something better out there.

Club 300

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:01:05 GMT

After years of busting my ass, I have finally acquired a probationary membership in the 300lb club.

According to the Urban Dictionary:

"Pertaining to a class of weightlifter who successfully lifts a sum of 300 or more pounds either at-once or cumulatively. Typically, a high school football player is awarded a special patch signifying their entry into the club upon lifting this weight."

Being a delicate Asian, I struggled through several sticking points over the years - 185lbs, 225lbs and 275lbs - each lasting several months. There were times when I thought that I had reached my genetic ceiling as well as encountering some ill-timed roadblocks, (various illnesses, a motorcycle crash and more recently, a toe fracture) but I suppose there are times when my ego gets the better of me and doesn't allow me to accept things as they are. We all have our demons and from time to time, my demons have me.

I reached the 300lb squat club about 3 years ago - shamefully I have to admit that I didn't start squatting until 4 years after I started training. I reached the 300lb deadlift club, just a year ago because to my embarrassment, I hadn't started deadlifting until 2 years ago. Many thanks to Burt for showing me the path.

Today, I successfully bench pressed 300lbs for 1 full-range rep with proper form. My voice boomed across the gym as I yelled with the exertion and many of the lifters stopped dead to see what was going on.

I was so happy, after racking the weight, I ran 3 victory laps at top speed. Shades of the Ultimate warrior.

It's not much to some of you guys, (Paul) but for a little guy like me, it's a big deal.

Thanks to N.O. Explode (It does work, Dan) and to my new friend Zoltan for stopping me from being crushed halfway through my second rep.

Because my strength seems to wax and wane like the phases of the moon, I feel that my membership in the 300lb club is on the probationary level and should be re-evaluated during the coming weeks.

Tonight's accomplishment is a personal landmark for two reasons. Firstly, because it brings my lifetime goal of a 315lb bench press within reach. Secondly, it is a powerful reminder that with patience, perseverance and a little bit of faith, all things are possible.

Right now, (20.03.2009 @ 2310) I feel can feel power surging through my veins and yet I also feel an odd sense of peace.

I might not have a patch to show for it, but the personal victory is enough for me.

Happy first day of spring, everyone.

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 18:43:11 GMT

Just north of the Highway 401 on Brimley Rd, Toronto Police Services frequently sets a speed trap.

I know this because I've lived in the area for nearly 20 years and I drive this route every day.

Today I got pulled over for speeding when I know for certain I wasn't. I make it a point never to speed on that road because I've lived in the area for close to 20 years and I know that Toronto Police *frequently* sets speed traps there.

I was in the slow lane trailing a red Honda in the passing lane.

The cop stopped us both but *decided* to pull me over - I say this because when he stopped us both, he paused for a bit before deciding what to do, which was to pull me over and let the Honda go.

It's not a big deal for me. I can take it to court, get a court date a year down the road and plead guilty to 15km over the limit (the laser "clocked" me at 73km/h in a 50km/h zone) and get no demerit points.

The trouble is, that this further hampers my efforts to secure employment with Toronto Police.

Is this a sign that I just wasn't meant to be a police officer?

What else is there?

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:55:04 GMT

So much has happened so quickly, I've had little time to update this page.

For starters, there's Shelly. She's the most normal woman I've ever dated and she comes pretty close to being the most normal woman I've ever met.

She's so amazing, at times I wonder what I've done to deserve her.

Things are perfect.

Too perfect.

My only complaint (and it's not even a complaint) is that she sometimes talks while I'm trying to watch House.

I'm not going to start spouting any mumbo-jumbo about soul mates or anything like that, but I will say that things are going great and that they will likely continue to be so for the foreseeable future.
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Ravenhawke is gone.

Not dead or anything, but he decided to remove himself from my life, right after I decided to loan him $500.
It's not like I haven't loaned him that much before, but this time, it almost seemed like he fabricated a quarrel with me in order not to have to pay it back.

That's one possibility.

Maybe he really is mad at me for trying to look out for his best interests.

He said I changed.

He's right.

I did.

I became more responsible and much more concerned with the future and how our actions affect our individual fates.

I cautioned him not to spend money, time or resources on women who ultimately don't respect him.

He took it as a personal affront.

Maybe my tone was harsh, but ultimately, he's smart enough to know that my intentions were not at all malicious.

We're all getting older and I just wanted him to not need for anything when he's too old to read.

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Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:09:10 GMT

Ravenhawke just plugged my journal.

Wasn't expecting that.

I'm listening to his radio show as I write this and he had mentioned that he could be Googled.

As a gag, I sent him a text saying that Googling him would bring up my journal.

So he plugged it.

Not that I needed the extra readership, because I don't hold back with anything I say here.

Reader beware.

Oops

Sat, 22 Sep 2007 04:59:03 GMT

Got a weird message from Ravenhawke on Thursday morning...

"What the hell did you put in your blog? I met someone out east and they came across your blog and read that we were doing drugs and running around with a couple of hookers...you weren't even with me for Halifax this year. I tried to explain it but she totally blew me off. I'm wondering what the hell you wrote. She thinks I'm some womanizing drug addict. Give me a call and we'll talk about it."

After checking back here, I noticed that I hadn't backdated the Halifax entry from 2006. I made the correction and called Ravenhawke to apologize profusely. I'm not sure who was reading the entry, but to draw from it the conclusions that they did is proof positive that people jump to conclusions all too quickly and that most people skip important details. Like that fact that neither Ravenhawke nor myself went anywhere near any drugs, for example. Or the fact that I can't really post something in July 2007 for something that Ravenhawke is accused of in August 2007. Ravenhawke says I'm psychic, but I'm not that awesome.

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Thursday afternoon, my sister had picked up my niece early from school because she was feeling sick from some bad pizza.

She asked me to drop my niece off to my mother at work and I had agreed.

There was a bit of construction on the road and as I was taking a ramp off the street onto an overpass, the car hit a bump where the grooved pavement met the smooth pavement. As the impact jarred the vehicle, I cursed under my breath.

"Shit."

At the top of the ramp, there was a set of traffic lights on red which forced me to stop. I took the opportunity to check on my niece, so I looked back at her in the back seat. She looked at me curiously with her innocent brown eyes and spoke.

"Shit, what?"

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 10:23:50 GMT

Fresh from Bryan's wedding, where I'm told I didn't make a great impression as best man, I get another encounter where my lack of communication skill lands me in yet another embarrassing situation.

I was at the gym earlier this morning and somewhere around 0200, this young Chinese couple walks in. Well, younger than me, anyway. She's a bit of a Barbie doll and he's a big and tall guy. Well, taller and seemingly larger than me - and I'm not a big guy.

I'm on the flat bench, having not benched in more than a week trying to keep my strength up and this couple is doing their own thing. The guy's showing his girlfriend around the gym, showing her various exercises and such and I'm resting between sets.

I can tell that he has little to no experience in the gym because he starts his workout with tricep pushdowns.

Anyone who trains knows that larger muscle groups have to be trained before smaller ones for optimal results.

Anyway, they're moving around the gym and I can see that they know where I am. There are only 3 other people in the gym at this point because it's 0200 and a guy all by himself on the bench stands out, particularly when he's the only person moving weights around.

So I get up to get a sip of water from the fountain and as I come back, the guy has moved into the free weight area where all the flat benches are. I return to the bench I was using and as I'm standing by the bench mentally preparing for my next lift, I glance over at the bench he's standing at, which is a good 15 - 20 feet away. He catches my eye and gives me a nod.

"Hey, are you on this?" he asks, pointing to the bench he intends to use, which has 135lbs on it.

I have to admit, I thought it was kind of a dumb thing to ask, because the both of them knew where I was, (because they were watching me watch them) but in retrospect, I realize that maybe he was trying to break the ice with me. Of course, that thought hadn't occurred to me until I was driving home. So anyway, I thought it was a funny question and lately, I've been a bit humourless, so I half-smile (which probably looked like a smirk) instead of giving a full smile.

"No, *I'm* on *THIS*," I said, patting my 245lb barbell.

"Oh. Okay," he says, before turning away quickly and preparing to lift.

At that moment, I realize that the inflection in my voice probably didn't happen the way I wanted it to and I must've seemed like I was totally snubbing the guy. I was mortified by my mistake and turned away to gather up the courage to apologize. By the time I was ready, it was too late. He finished his set and quickly walked over to his girlfriend.

Feeling guilty, I quickly unloaded the barbell and left the benches to set up in the power rack for a supramaximal lift.

He came back into the free weight area and did a few more sets on the flat bench while I set up the power rack.

Eventually he moved to an incline bench which was a little closer to me and set up 115lbs.

For my supramaximal lift, I set up 315lbs.

He squeezes out a set of 8 while I'm standing by the power rack, contemplating my next move. I had never used the power rack and I had definitely never attempted 315lbs. I had set the pins so that I would only be working with the top 3-4 inches of the movement, which is not much, but I would still be required to lift that 315lbs for those 3-4 inches.

After a few moments, I lie on the bench and it is as though some unseen force acts through me to lift the barbell. I marvel at the barbell, supported only by my hands and moments later, I lower the barbell to rest on the pins. Of course, it wasn't that gentle. The barbell hits the pins with a crash that echoes throughout the gym.

I stood up to adjust the weights on the bar as they had become unseated during my lift and I looked up to see the Chinese guy looking at me with a bit of an awed expression.

Missing another opportunity to apologize, I turn and head for the water fountain.

I come back and hammer out 4 more singles as the guy moves across the room to use the decline bench.

The guilt is eating me alive at this point, so I decide to move to the Hammer Strength machines. It's 0230 and I'm feeling like I want to leave, but I didn't feel like I had done anything, so I want to finish my workout hopefully with a bit of a pump.

I work on the Hammer Strength incline press for a bit and as I get up, I notice the guy's girlfriend on the tricep pushdown station of another machine.

For me to say that I didn't look would be denying my obligations as a hot-blooded male, so I'll own up and say that I looked.

Trouble is, she looked back.

I don't know what it is, but over the past 4 or 5 months, I have encountered all kinds of attention (read: trouble) from women who are supposed to be off-limits. (read: taken)

Fearing the worst, I quickly glance away only to find that the guy had witnessed the brief interaction.

Awk-ward.

At that point, I decided to leave.

On my way out, another Chinese guy comes in, spiky hair, one pant leg rolled up, and his fleece top unzipped halfway, revealing a decidedly undeveloped chest.

Naturally, I have to see what this tough guy's going to do, (insert sarcasm here) so I pull a 180 and walk back onto the gym floor and over to the fountain to get another drink.

It's 0300 at this point and I should be in my bed sleeping. Instead, I'm at the gym watching some metrosexual fob do quad stretches at the flat bench. At the flat bench! If you're going to bench, you stretch your arms and chest, not your quads! Come on!

The young couple from earlier wanders into view and the girl notices me again. She makes deliberate eye contact and starts to smile.

I walked off the gym floor and left.

I swear I am not doing this on purpose.

I didn't ask for any of this.

God, I can be such a bastard at times.

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:55:17 GMT

Took me damn near a year to write that friggin' Halifax entry.

It *should've* been posted September 2006.

Ignore any errors I've left.

I'll get to them later.

I've already spent the last 2 hours doing final proofreading and I'm too tired to do any more.

Now, onto the next story.

Halifax Redux Part 2

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:33:05 GMT

Chapter 6 - Reversal of fortune

I woke up to find Melanie's arm around my waist. It felt nice. I took her hand and squeezed it gently as she nestled in close to me.

We lay there for a few minutes enjoying the moment. The downside was that I had to get up and go to the gym with Ravenhawke.

"I have to go," I whispered.

"No," mumbled Melanie, as she nestled in closer.

"I have to go to the gym with Richard. I'll be back soon and then we can do this some more," I said, kissing her hand lightly.

"Mmmmm....okay," said Melanie.

I quickly got dressed just as Ravenhawke knocked on the door. I quietly slipped out and we went to the athletic centre across the street. We worked out, but my head was elsewhere. I couldn't get Melanie off my mind. After the workout, Ravenhawke went to shower, which allowed me a few more moments with Melanie. I climbed into bed and pulled her close. She draped her leg over mine and gripped me tightly.

I don't know how long we lay there, but to me, it didn't matter.

"This feels so nice," I said. "I could do this all day."

"Mmmmm-Hmmmm..." came the reply from Melanie.

After what seemed like an eternity, my phone rang. Melanie put up some token resistance as I tried to answer the phone. I crawled out of bed and picked up my phone.

It was Ravenhawke.

"Hey, how ya doin'?"

"I'm doing great," I said, smiling.

I *was* doing great for the first time in some time.

"Goooood," said Ravenhawke, smiling. "I gotta get to the fair though, so I'm going to need you to drive me over."

"Okay. I'll see you in a couple of minutes," I said.

I hugged Melanie and promised to return before disappearing out the door.

I drove Ravenhawke to the fair and chatted with him for a short time before I got a call from Cat asking me to meet them for brunch.

I found them in a small diner not far from the residence. I was astounded at how quickly they were out of bed and ready.

To shop.

We started off at Booster Juice, which I had no problems with. Ripped Berry is definitely the way to go, although the High Impact Açai is a contender too. Açai isn't available in Halifax, so it would have to be the Ripped Berry. Booster Juice is a nice product, pricey though it is. I had given some thought to opening a franchise, but it's a very small niche market. For now, anyway. I won't completely put it out of mind, but I do have other things to do first.

After picking the smoothies, we made our way down to Barrington Street, passing a large church along the way. The church doors were open and a bagpiper stood in the doorway facing in.

I heard some giggling and turned to see Cat darting out of the church grinning broadly. Melanie had dared Cat to raise the man's kilt to see if men wearing kilts actually go commando.

We spent the afternoon wandering around Barrington Street looking for a adult novelty store to find sexy clothes for the girls to wear at work.

With just an hour to go before the girls needed to head back to get ready for work, we found a small store and the girls went to town.

I have to admit that adult stores aren't all about pornos and blow-up dolls. Some of them have interesting lingerie, other articles of clothing, joke books and other fun stuff.

I browsed the store while Melanie and Cat disappeared into the dressing rooms with the staff in tow, their arms heavily laden with various options. Every now and again the door would open slightly and Melanie or Cat would peek out or swap items with the staff. I continued to pace in the store, spending most of the time standing next to the air conditioner.

After a few moments, the door to the dressing room flew open and Melanie walked out in a very revealing lingerie ensemble and smiled at me.

My jaw dropped.

"What do you think, Albert?" called Cat from inside the dressing room.

"Uh.......wow...." was all I could manage.

"I think he likes it," said Melanie giggling.

I continued to study Melanie, grinning as I noted how the suit hugged her curves.

Melanie skipped back into the dressing room and closed the door.

The two women staffing the store looked over at me and smiled.

"I think I need to go stand next to the air conditioning," I said, smiling back.

Eventually, the girls appeared from the room again, ready to finalize everything and get ready to scout out another club.

Melanie's purchases ended up totaling more than she had expected and she was prepared to put her lingerie ensemble back, but I stopped her, pulling a $100 bill from my wallet to pay for the difference.

"You don't have to do that," said Melanie.

"I want to," I said.

"I'll pay you back."

"You don't have to. Just model that little getup for me tonight," I said, grinning.

"Oh, that's a given," said Melanie, smiling back.

We left and I took the girls back to Shirreff Hall to get ready. They were going to try their hand at the other club in Dartmouth, which was not without controversy. It had just been granted its liquor license after having it revoked for allowing and serving to minors on the premises. From what I could gather, it also had a shadier reputation for having its girls offer "services" at an extra cost. Cat and Melanie had made it clear that they weren't those kinds of strippers.

But when it comes down to it, can we ever really be sure?

It didn't matter to me either way.

The girls took a little longer getting ready this time around because I don't think they were intending to actually work. I think they just wanted to secure employment for the next night.

We zipped out to the club, only to find it locked up, but music could be felt and heard coming from within. After a few moments, we gave up and went to pick up Ravenhawke before the girls decided they wanted to go drinking. Neither Ravenhawke nor I wanted to drink and Cat had suggested that she wanted a girls' night with Melanie, so we left them at a downtown bar before heading to Casino Halifax.

Last time we were at Casino Halifax, things didn't go well for either of us. Our luck was about to change.

There were no concerts this time and it seemed to me that the place had been moved around somewhat, but the place was still painfully well lit and seemed to have doubled the number of slot machines, while removing some of the card tables. We walked around looking at the new slot machines before I spotted a lone machine called "Nurse's Folly." I immediately plopped down in front of it and fed the machine a $5 bill. It was a nickel slot, which meant that I'd be there for a while. Ravenhawke continued on to anther machine and we agreed to meet at the machine of the person who hadn't yet lost all their credits.

I lost first.

Stupid nickel machines.

I found Ravenhawke moments later seated nearby playing on a dollar-a-game slot machine. When he was finished shortly after, he turned to me.

"Let's go into the High Roller's room. There's too much noise," he said.

"I'm ok with that," I said. "Let's go."

We made our way into the High Roller's area, which somehow no longer resembled the High Roller's area that I had seen last year. We passed through the double glass doors into the slot machine area. To the right was a hallway with an ATM and a cash office and just beyond the cash office were the High Roller's card tables. The section was cordoned off with velvet rope and many large men with suits stood guard, some watching the players, some watching the hallway, which was the only way in or out of the room. The slot machine section isn't normally very brightly lit, but the light from the various slot machines made it seem like there were flares burning in the room. An elderly woman was playing from behind a velvet rope that separating her from the rest of the room. A security guard watched over her from nearby. Glancing at the machines, I noticed that they were $50 and $100 machines. It was also then that I noticed that she was playing on multiple machines at once, pressing the spin button on one machine before moving onto the next. A quick count hinted at her playing on no less than six machines with at least 3 of each.

"Holy shit!" I said, turning to Ravenhawke. "You see that? She's playing on multiple machines..."

"Wow..." said Ravenhawke. "I'm going to play this five dollar machine," he said chuckling.

"Ok. I'll watch," I said, smiling.

Ravenhawke placed a five dollar bill into the machine, "Double Dragon" and activated all the pay lines. Unlike last year, it was intentional this time. Ravenhawke slapped the "Spin" button in defiance.

And came up a winner.

To the tune of $225.

Our jaws dropped.

"Dude! You gotta take the money and run!" I said in disbelief.

Ravenhawke hit the "Pay" button and the machine spat out a receipt for $225.

"I got a couple more fives. I gotta try again," said Ravenhawke grinning.

He fed another fin into the machine and slapped the button.

And won again, this time, $25. Ravenhawke collected the receipt, fed his last five into the machine and hit the button.

And won another $200!

"Okay, you know what? I'm going to play now," I said. "I need to get some change."

Ravenhawke chuckled as we walked over to the cashier's counter.

Just as we arrived, a man was stepping away from the counter. He had a heavy winter coat on and his clothes were slightly dirty, as though he had been spending some time sleeping on the streets. His shoulder length brown hair was disheveled and had an unwashed look to match an unkempt beard. His eyes darted around the room before he pulled a large wad of cash from his coat to add his winnings to it.

Maybe the casino can restore lives in addition to destroying them.

I broke a $20 bill into fives and scampered back to Double Dragon. Ravenhawke was hot on my heels. I fed a $5 bill into the machine and turned to Ravenhawke. He handed me $200.

"Here, take this and put it toward what I owe you," said Ravenhawke.

"Are you sure? That's half your winnings and you need the money," I said.

"Yeah. I'm way ahead of things this weekend. Besides, I hate owing money. I told you I'd have you paid off in two weeks and we're coming up on two years," he said, chuckling.

"Ok, but if you change your mind, let me know," I said.

Ravenhawke nodded.

I turned and hit the "Spin" button.

Nothing.

I fed another $5 in the machine and tried again.

Nothing.

"Third time's a charm, right?" I asked feeding another $5 into the machine.

Not this time.

"You try," I said, stepping aside for Ravenhawke.

Ravenhawke stepped in and fed a $5 bill into the machine.

And won another $75.

God, I suck.

"Hold up here. I gotta try this again," I said, nudging Ravenhawke out of the way as he collected his receipt.

I fed my last $5 into the slot machine. And slapped the "Spin" button.

And won $20, which allowed me to break even.

Hey, I'll take that over being $20 in the hole any day.

As we went to cash out our tickets, my phone rang. It was Cat.

"Hey Albert, how are you?" asked Cat.

"I'm ok. We're just at the casino," I said.

"Did you guys win any money?"

"Not really. I just broke even," I said, looking at Ravenhawke.

"How did Richard do?" asked Cat.

"I'll let him tell you," I said, smiling.

"Ok, well we're at the pool hall just playing pool. Do you want to come and meet us? Tell Richard I really miss him."

Cat paused for a moment.

"And Melanie misses you," she said cheerfully.

I chuckled. "Okay, we'll come out and play some pool," I said.

"Great. We'll see you soon," said Cat.

"Ok."

"Do you want to go and play pool with the girls?" I asked, closing the phone. "By the way, Cat says she misses you."

"Ha! More like she doesn't trust us and thinks we're out with other women," laughed Ravenhawke.

"Well, it doesn't matter whether or not I'm with another woman or not. I'm single. Although...Melanie did say that she misses me," I said.

"I'm tellin' ya, she likes you," he said, flashing a thumbs up.

"So I guess that means we're going?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure, I wouldn't mind playing some pool. Let's go," said Ravenhawke.

We set off to Dooley's, the local chain of pool hall/bars. If you count 2 locations as a chain. The location the girls were at was on Barrington St., where I was earlier in the day. It's a cosy little place with soft lighting, carpeted floors and large Queen Anne style chairs. It was about 0030 when we arrived and we found the girls playing in the back corner on a table next to a table with a trio of young studly locals and their female friend. We stood for a moment to see if they would notice us, but the girls continued to chat away, with Cat showing off her various tattoos.

The guys were obviously spellbound by her ample breasts.

I mean tattoos.

I turned to Ravenhawke.

"Let's sit down and watch for a minute and see what happens," said Ravenhawke with a mischievous smile.

We sat in the chairs and watched the interaction unfold. Melanie stayed off to the side, sipping at her drink, an odd blue concoction in a highball glass, while Cat was describing each of her tattoos in exquisite detail to her captive audience.

To be honest, I was waiting for one of the guys to make a pass at Cat. I think Ravenhawke might have been waiting for the same thing. But I was expecting Cat to respond. We were both pleasantly surprsied to see one of the guys try to convince Cat to accompany him to another part of the club to "talk", while Cat rebuffed him at every turn, by simply saying that they could talk at the table and that secrecy wasn't necessary.

Melanie glanced over and saw us.

"Hey, they're here," she called out.

Cat looked up and trotted happily over to Ravenhawke, throwing her arms around him as we made our way over.

"Were you guys spying on us?" asked Cat, grinning.

"Nope. We were observing," I said.

"How long were you guys sitting there?" asked Melanie.

"Just a couple minutes," said Ravenhawke, glancing over at me and smiling that secret smile that friends have between them. "We only just got here."

"Come and try this drink," said Melanie, pulling me toward the pool table and handing me her drink. "It's called a Blue Shark."

"It's good," chimed Cat.

I took a mouthful of the drink. Normally, I don't like alcoholic beverages, but this particular one was quite good. The alcohol was barely detectable and it went down smoothly.

"This is good stuff," I said.

"It's good, eh?" asked Melanie. "I'll buy you one."

Melanie ordered a Blue Shark for me from the waitress as she passed our table. I racked up the balls on the table for a doubles game with Melanie as my partner. My game was off, but we put up a pretty good showing, losing only because I scratched while sinking the 8 ball.

The waitress dropped by our table to let us know that Dooley's was closing in 10 minutes. I grabbed my Blue Shark and quickly downed it. Melanie took my arm.

"Can we go back to the room and watch a movie and snuggle?" asked Melanie.

"You bet we can. I've been looking forward to it all day," I said, smiling.

Ravenhawke drove us all back to Shirreff Hall and I went to my room and set up my laptop before taking a shower. Melanie showed up shortly after and I set a DVD copy of Mr. & Mrs. Smith into my laptop while Melanie crawled into bed. I hopped into bed behind Melanie so that she sat wrapped up in my arms. After a few moments, she decided to lie down, so we both got comfortable on our sides.
Neither of us was really focused on the movie, being caught up in holding each other.

"I'm tired," said Melanie, yawning. "Can we watch this another time? I want to go to bed."

"Sure we can," I said, smiling.

I shut down my laptop while Melanie made herself comfortable. I got into bed and put my arm around Melanie. She snuggled up close and put her head on my chest.

"Good night, Melanie," I said.

Melanie kissed my neck before resting her head on my chest again.

"Good night," she said.

In the darkness, I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned in to kiss Melanie. I teased and played, savouring the way her lips tasted. After about a minute, I stopped.

"Mmmmmmm....yummy...." sighed Melanie.

Things took off from there.

Chapter 7 - The Morning After

"Mmmmmmmm....I feel like this weight has been lifted off me," said Melanie, nestling into my arms.

"Uh...you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" I asked.

"Nope," said Melanie. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nope."

I smiled and kissed her on the cheek before getting out of bed to get dressed to take Ravenhawke to the fair.

"I hope you're not looking for a girlfriend," said Melanie pulling her clothes on. "I've got a lot going on and I can't really be in a relationship right now."

I didn't quite know what to say, despite having been warned well in advance.

"She's not really looking for a relationship, but she'll definitely fuck you," Ravenhawke had said in an earlier conversation.

I watched Melanie for a few seconds as she lit up a cigarette. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but she wasn't making eye contact with me.

"Okay," I said.

It was all I could muster. It was the first time I had had no-strings attached sex. I can't say that it was bad...Melanie's a good girl, one that I could see myself in a relationship with, but she wouldn't have it.
I didn't know how to react. How could I behave like nothing had happened? I'd have to figure it out on the fly. I left the room after saying goodbye to Melanie and picked up Ravenhawke.
We discussed the events of the night before over breakfast at one of the local greasy spoons we had discovered on our last trip. Somehow, I find Ravenhawke's manner of comforting to be somewhat lacking.

"You're all set. Now you have someone you can hook up with in Ottawa," he said, flashing a thumbs up. "She'll lay you anytime you come into town."

It was a small, decidedly hollow reassurance.

I dropped Ravenhawke off at the fair and went back to Shirreff to find that Melanie had vacated my room. I had planned to take a trip to Peggy's Cove, but I wasn't prepared to leave, so I organized my room a little and lay down. At some point, my phone rang.

It was Cat.

"Hey, how are ya?" she beamed.

"I'm good. That's quite the little friend you have," I said, smiling.

"She really likes you," said Cat. "See? I told you you'd get along!"

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes.

I suppose I had been on some kind of ego trip to think that if I spent enough time around Melanie, that I could make her change her mind and want a relationship with me. Reality was setting in and it was a bitter pill to swallow.

"What are you doing today?" asked Cat.

"I was thinking about going to Peggy's Cove, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow," I said. "I did want to sail on a ship at some point, so I was thinking of going down to the harbour to see what's available."

"Do you mind if we come with you?" asked Cat.

"Not at all. You'd like it down there. They have all kinds of vendors that sell all kinds of knick-knacks and such."

"Oh, right on," said Cat. "When in you leaving?"

"As soon as you guys get here, I guess."

"Give us about twenty minutes," said Cat.

It meant that I had an hour.

"Sure. Just come by when you're ready," I said.

"Ok, cheers!" said cat.

I lay back down, and astonishingly, there was a knock at my door within 20 minutes.

It was Melanie.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," said Melanie. "Are you ready?"

"Sure, just let me put on my shoes."

We made our way down to the harbour. It was Sunday, which meant free parking on the streets. We eventually found a spot and wandered down to the waterfront. It was a beautiful day and the area was alive with activity. I found the ticket offices for the tall ships and wandered up to one of the windows. The pretty young girl smiled at me as I stopped.

"Hi, could I pick up the schedule for the Bluenose two?" I asked.

"The Bluenose two is actually docked in Maine right now. It alternates every few weeks and won't be back until about mid-August," said the girl.

"D'oh!"

"Sorry," said the girl, wincing.

"It's ok. Can you recommend anything else?"

"Well, if you want a tall ship, there's the Mar two and the Silva and if you want whale-watching, there's the Haligonian three and the Peggy's Cove Express, which does whale-watching starting at six p.m."

"What about before six p.m.?" I asked.

"Before six p.m., the Peggy's Cove Express does tours of Peggy's Cove. It's an all-day trip lasting about six hours."

"Ugh, I don't have that kind of time today. I had my heart set on the Bluenose, but I'll settle for another tall ship. I'm just going to wander down to the docks and look at which one I want to go on."

"Okay," said the young girl cheerfully.

"Thanks for your help," I said.

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

Cat and Melanie had gone ahead to look around and I quickly caught up. From there, they pretty much had the run of the afternoon. They browsed the various tents and tables while I took a few pictures of the various ships. They were nice, but nothing that I would want to sail on. Then I came across the Freedom Schooner Amistad.

The Amistad is a reconstructed replica of a schooner that played a role in what is known by some as "The Amistad Incident".

I'd say more about it, but I'm lazy. Look it up on Wiki.

Anyway, it wasn't sailing, so I decided to wait to decide. Cat and Melanie had decided to get lunch, and found a spot on the pier. I joined them and watched the various boats sailing the harbour. Even watching the harbour, as industrialized as it is, was peaceful.

After lunch, Cat and Melanie did some more shopping while I browsed the various vendors. At some point, it had come time for the girls to get ready, as they had decided to try the other club, "Sensations" one more time. I relaxed for a while in my room while the girls got ready. It was Sunday, so the fair ended early for Ravenhawke and we picked him up before heading out for sushi. The hunt for a sushi restaurant that was still open took upwards of an hour and we'd scoured the entire downtown area before stumbling across it entirely by accident.

Hamachi House from all outward appearances looks just like a seafood reastaurant, but stepping inside, I noted that the place was very elegant. The sushi bar was in the middle of the room and was surrounded by a small river on which little boats floated in a chain.

We sat at the sushi bar and Cat, having worn short sleeves, had completely captivated the attention of the sushi artists. One in particular, "Romeo", was particularly chatty and made a special item for Cat. We didn't clue in until later because of Romeo's thick Chinglish accent, but we all agreed that Romeo definitely fancied Cat.

After dinner, we dropped the girls off at Sensations and I took Ravenhawke back to Shirreff Hall so he could sleep. He had had a particularly draining day having done a significant number of readings. I napped briefly, being woken up by a phone call from Cat asking me for a pickup. When I got there, the girls were waiting for me and they were drunk. Melanie was far gone enough that she needed to prop herself up on Cat. They were hungry and demanded McDonald's so I took them to a drive through before taking them back to the residence. When I parked the car, Melanie had trouble moving, so I cradle carried her nearly 200 feet from the parking lot to the elevator inside Shirreff Hall.

Melanie, as hammered as she was, was somehow aroused by it.

"You're so fuckin' hot," she slurred. "I'm so wet right now, oh, my God..."

She buried her face in my neck.

I frowned and looked over at Cat, who grinned at me.

I could only shake my head.

Melanie gathered up some things from Cat and Ravenhawke's room while I changed and waited for her to arrive before I could leave for a shower. When I let her into the room, she flopped onto the bed, face down. I watched her for a moment before picking up my towel.

"Get some sleep, Mel. You've had a long day," I said. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'll join you."

Melanie sat up and grabbed my wrist with surprising speed and accuracy.

"No," she said. "I don't want you to go."

"Why not?" I asked. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Because I want you to bring that sexy body over here and fuck the shit out of me like you did last night," she said, tugging at the waistband of my pants.

I hesitated for a moment to consider the possible reprecussions. In the grand scheme of things, I had nothing to lose. Besides, who was I to argue? I put my towel down and sat on the bed, pulling Melanie into my arms and smiling a sinful little smile.

"Well, since you asked so nicely..."

Chapter 8 - Natal Day

Holding Melanie in my arms felt so good, I didn't want to let her go, but I had planned to go to the gym with Ravenhawke again. It also helped that Melanie wasn't my girlfriend and I needed to let her go so that I wouldn't get attached to her. I sat up to find a note from Ravenhawke slipped under the door. It had said that he tried to call, but that I hadn't answered, so he showered and was going to take a cab to the fair for the last day. It was about 1000 and I needed to start my day, so I showered and quickly got dressed. I sat on the bed and gently nudged Melanie awake.

"Hi," I whispered. "I need to go and book my train ticket home. I should be back in half an hour or so."

Melanie squinted at me as her eyes adjusted to the light. Even with the curtains drawn, her emerald eyes shone brilliantly.

"I don't want you to go," she said. "I want you to stay with me."

I stared at her for a moment in stunned silence.

"Really?"

Melanie nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I can stay one more day, but I lose this room tomorrow morning, so I'll need to find another motel or something. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yes," said Melanie.

"Okay. I'll book the train for Wednesday. I'll be back soon."

I kissed Melanie and left for the train station. Booking the ticket for home ran me close to $700. I'd be on a sleeper car with a changeover in Montreal. I'm astounded that it takes a day to get to Montreal by train. I felt the need to rent a car for my last day in Halifax, as I would no longer need to drive Ravenhawke to the fair and Melanie and I would be stranded otherwise. I quickly looked up several locations of Enterprise rental offices, only to find that they were closed. It was after all, a statutory holiday.

Having been totally put out by the thought of having to take a cab to get around, I made my way to the Halifax Forum to visit Ravenhawke. Through some twist of fate, the path I took went past a Thrifty Car Rental office. I glanced at the parking lot to get a look at the stock and saw a PT Cruiser convertible and a Sebring. I thought it would be novel to rent the PT Cruiser, so I glanced into the office to see if it was staffed. It was, so I pulled into the parking lot and that was when I noticed that there was a secondary lot with 3 Fire Red 2006 Mustang convertibles.

I stormed into the rental office.

"Are those Mustangs part of the fleet?"

The clerk nodded and I nearly jumped.

"Can I book one for tomorrow morning?"

"We don't really reserve vehicles," said the clerk.

"Huh?"

"You can reserve a vehicle type, but not a specific vehicle. If you get here tomorrow and there's a Mustang available, you can upgrade to it."

"Ok. We'll do it like that then. What are the chances that they'll go out today?"

"I don't know," said the clerk. "It all depends on whether or not anyone from the airport office rents one. Take a card and call back tomorrow morning. I'll be able to tell you whether or not they're still here."

"Excellent," I said, taking the card. "Thank you."

I continued on to the fair to tell Ravenhawke the plan and see how he was doing. Overall, it hadn't been a bad fair for him.

At some point in the early afternoon, Sherri called and I suggested that she drop by the fair to visit Ravenhawke and so we could go out for dinner later. Looking back, I feel as though we certainly didn't spend enough time with her. This was in part due to her work schedule but also because of Cat. I had hoped to be able to do my own thing for this trip, but more often than not, I was escorting Cat and Melanie around.

I'm not sure what Ravenhawke told Cat about Sherri, but Cat somehow had it in her head that Ravenhawke had slept with Sherri during last year's trip to Halifax. I tried to do as much damage control as I could, but when a woman's mind is made up, there's nothing in the world that any man can do or say to make her see what she doesn't want to see.

Cat's a sweet girl, but her reasoning completely baffles me at times.

I would never wish ill on Ravenhawke, but I gotta say that I'm glad that it's not me that landed Cat.

I went back to Shirreff Hall to check up on the girls. Melanie had gotten up and was in Cat's room. I took the opportunity to clean up a little and do some laundry. It was the only alone time I would get, it seemed. After a time, my phone rang. It was Cat.

"Hi Albert. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. What's up?"

"I just talked to Richard and he asked me to pick him up," said Cat.

I immediately knew what was going on and Cat is a bad liar.

"But I just got in from visiting him and he asked me to pick him up at five." I said, smiling.

"Yeah, but I just talked to him and he asked me to pick him up."

"Alright, come by and pick up the keys," I said, resigning myself.

Minutes later, there was a knock at my door and I grabbed the keys before opening the door. Cat stood in the doorway with a downcast look on her face.

"Hi, sorry to bother you, but Richard asked me to pick him up." said Cat, averting her gaze.

I rolled my eyes and handed Cat the keys.

"Here you go," I said, smiling.

As an observer in this situation, things look pretty ridiculous. Naturally, I'm biased in favour of Ravenhawke, but even if I wasn't, the facts themselves speak enough.

Ravenhawke has been completely loyal to Cat and works tirelessly to support the both of them and her son. He spends no money on frivolities and has no luxuries, choosing instead to devote his energies into his family and household.

Cat, though equally devoted to Ravenhawke, isn't quite ready to stop living la vida loca. She chooses to give her son all the things he wants, as though it somehow makes up for the absence of a mother. When Ravenhawke tells me about how she'll come home from work up to six hours late, having spent all but a small portion of her earnings, all I can do is shake my head and assure him that it's just a phase.

Except that I'm not so sure that it is just a phase.

Of course, I'm not present for each and every interaction, but I was always present during the more heated exchanges between the two of them on this trip. At one point during one of our nights out, Melanie and I were walking together while Cat and Ravenhawke walked ahead of us, embroiled in one such heated exchange.

I stopped and took Melanie's hand. She looked at me, slightly puzzled as I gazed deeply into her eyes.

"Melanie, I don't know what's going to happen between us from here on in or whether or not anything's going to happen after I get on that train to go home, but I promise you, no matter what happens, we will *never* end up like that."

Melanie squeezed my hand and we continued walking in silence.

Cat left with the keys and I went back to cleaning up the small mess in my room. After about 20 minutes, I decided to take a walk so I started to head outside. As I passed the main library, I heard a voice call out.

"Hey Albert."

I stopped and backtracked to the library, curious as to who it might have been. Peeking in, I saw Ravenhawke and Sherri lounging in separate chairs on either side of a small table. I stepped in and seated myself in a third chair.

"Dude, how long have you been there?" I asked, perplexed.

"About ten minutes. Cat came and picked us up," said Ravenhawke.

"Yeah, I know all about that. Did you ask her to come and pick you up?"

"No. I called her and when I told her Sherri was with me, she told me she was coming by to pick me up."

I smiled.

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

"Well, I thought we'd all go out to dinner," suggested Ravenhawke.

"I'm down with that. I was hoping to spend more time around Sherri on this trip, but that didn't happen... I haven't even gone sailing like I wanted to and I haven't gone to Peggy's Cove. I guess I'll have to squeeze it all in tomorrow somehow."

"Uh...it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Thunderstorms, in fact," said Sherri.

"What?" I said, completely floored. "Shit! I booked a Mustang for tomorrow. A fucking Mustang! Convertible too!"

"Oh, nice," said Ravenhawke, grinning.

"Well, it's not so nice if it rains tomorrow," I said.

After a few moments, Melanie and Cat had come to join us. We eventually settled on Mr. Chang's for dinner, where Ravenhawke and I had met Sherri for the first time a year ago. It wasn't a big fancy place, but it was cozy and perfect for an evening in the company of good friends and a good woman at my side. At that moment in time, I had both, even if it was just an illusion.

Somewhere over the course of the evening, Melanie and I would up officially as a couple. I don't remember how it came up, but the conversation went something like this:

"So, Melanie, are you having a good time? You got yourself a good man..." said Ravenhawke, climbing into the car.

Melanie and I looked at each other as we settled into the back seat.

"I don't know," said Melanie. "He can be my man as long as there are no other women."

I smiled slightly.

"No other women here," I said. "Have you got any other men?"

"No," said Melanie.

"Well then I guess it's settled," interrupted Ravenhawke.

Melanie rested her head on my shoulder and I squeezed her hand gently.

Cat wanted to spend the rest of the night at a cigar bar, but Ravenhawke wasn't into it. I dropped the girls off and took Ravenhawke back to Shirreff Hall so he could rest. Melanie wanted me to join her at the cigar bar and I certainly had no objections, so I went back. As I arrived, it began to rain lightly.

I don't remember the name of the cigar bar, but it was a plain gray building with a narrow doorway leading into smoky darkness. The outdoor patio, which was nothing more than a table with 3 chairs had been abandoned seemingly some time ago, but beer bottles lay strewn across the table, neglected by whatever staff was in the place.

I stood in the middle of the street for a moment, glancing around. Halifax had shut down long ago and all that was left was its seedy underbelly. For a moment, I felt alone in the world and it was almost like I was caught in an installment of Resident Evil. The only sign of life anywhere was a single candle flickering in the open window of the cigar bar.

I drew a breath and made my way into the darkness, wanting only to find Melanie.

Every seat in the place was occupied and the smoke hung in the air like a velvet curtain.

The girls were sitting at the bar and Cat was chatting up a couple shifty looking characters. Melanie waved me over and shifted her barstool so that I could squeeze in between her and Cat. Melanie whispered in my ear that Cat had caught the attention of the two characters early and left Melanie out of the majority of their interaction. She didn't seem bothered by it.

"I have a boyfriend now," she smiled.

After about 20 minutes, the two shifty characters left and Cat turned back to us.

"Those guys were directors and they want to make a documentary about me and my life," Cat beamed.

I turned to look at Melanie and we both rolled our eyes. Eventually, a small table opened up and we moved to it and continued chatting for a bit before heading back to Shirreff Hall. Melanie was drained from the smoke and alcohol, so we settled in for a quiet night.

Chapter 9 - A taste of the good life

I woke to the sound of light rain and sat up. I pulled the curtain aside gently to see a moderate downpour. I cursed under my breath and looked at my phone to see what time it was. Just after 0700 - still plenty of time before I had to pick up the Mustang. I crawled back into bed and kissed Melanie on the forehead as she settled into my arms. Hopefully, the rain would let up by the time I left to pick up the car.

Ten o'clock rolled around and I quickly called the car rental office to confirm that I had a Mustang on hold for me instead of a PT Cruiser. I grinned as the clerk told me the Mustang Convertible was waiting.

I gently woke Melanie up and asked her if she wanted to come with me to pick up the car. She wanted to sleep a little longer, so I left her with a caution that she had to be ready to leave when I got back, as checkout time was fast approaching. I took a cab to the rental office, but not before grabbing a CD that I had specially made for the trip. It was still raining by the time I had finished all the paperwork and gotten into the Mustang and my heart sank a little at the thought that I wouldn't be driving to Peggy's Cove with the top down.

As soon as I popped the CD into the dash, that all changed.

I had always thought that Mustangs were for greasy wops who had bathed in cologne or for wife-beating white guys with mullets and a 6-pack of Miller Lite, but I definitely can see myself in one. Other than the aesthetics, the attractive feature thing about the redesigned Mustangs is the power that they can generate and the sound they make while generating that power.

With Prodigy pounding through the car and seemingly into the road, I roared down the street back to Shirreff Hall. By the time I arrived, it had stopped raining. I parked quietly on the street and ran back to my room to wake Melanie.

She quickly packed up her things and we made our way to the car after checking out. As we left Shirreff Hall, my phone rang. It was Shale, wanting to know if I was returning that day for the Central meeting and what I wanted to be taught if I wasn't returning in time. I was chatting away as Melanie had gone ahead a little. As she passed the Mustang, she marvelled at it and muttered something about it being nice before continuing on. I stopped her and motioned for her to come back while I was wrapping up my conversation with Shale. Melanie came back with a skeptical look on her face.

"Yeah right," she said, half smiling and half smirking.

I quickly said my goodbyes to Shale and closed my phone as I hit the button on the Mustang's remote keychain to pop the trunk. The trunk opened with a muted "thunk" sound and Melanie looked over to see the trunk door wide open. Her jaw dropped and she gasped as she looked back at me, astonished.

"You're the best," she said, throwing her arms around me.

"Let's get your stuff in the trunk," I said, unphased.

Moments later, the roof was down and we were racing through the streets of Halifax on the way to the hotel that I had booked a room at the night before. It was chilly, but the rumble of the engine and the pounding bass more than made up for it.

We eventually arrived at The Lord Nelson, an elegant downtown hotel just steps from the main strip. After resolving a minor inconvenience, (I had reserved a room at 0130 that morning, but the night staff didn't tell the day staff where the reservation was) Melanie and I were settled into our room and back out the door to meet Ravenhawke and Cat for breakfast.

After breakfast, the sun was out so I had decided that I would try for a tall ship cruise with Melanie. Ravenhawke and Cat had decided to join us and met us down at the harbour. We eventually settled on a whale watching tour on the "Haligonian III". I wasn't my ideal sailing trip, but I had to bow to majority rule. The Haligonian III pulled in and docked and about 50 touristy Asians got off the boat.

"No wonder there are no Asians in Halifax," said Cat. "They're all on the boat."

I doubled over with laughter while Cat grinned awkwardly, completely oblivious to what she had said.

Eventually, we boarded the boat with 50 more touristy Asians and sat in the sun waiting to cast off. When we did, the sky became overcast. My heart sank.

The trip wound up being less than perfect. Besides being stuck on a boat with about 50 touristy Asians and their loud kids, 3 people wound up vomiting from sea sickness. The waters wound up being pretty choppy and we didn't see anything except for a couple of harp seals. Melanie and I wound up falling asleep on a bench on the way back to the harbour.

When we got back, the group had decided that they wanted to settle on fine dining, since it was my last night in Halifax. We wandered the harbour area and eventually settled on a place called "The Atlantis Steak & Seafood Co." The place was everything I had envisioned fine dining to be. White walls, hardwood floors and chandeliers and soft jazz for ambient music. Oddly though, the place was empty. There were just a few tables occupied, but they all happened to be by the window. We played musical tables for a bit, which must've irritated the staff, but eventually we settled on a table with a decent view for the girls.

It was a wonderful dinner and I learned what Surf 'n Turf is.

Steak and lobster/seafood.

Damn.

At times during the dinner I glanced over at Melanie. The candles on the table lit up her eyes as she smiled at me.

She was so beautiful.

After dinner, we parted ways with Ravenhawke and Cat and we made our way back to the Lord Nelson to relax.

We wound up watching TV for a little while before sneaking out for a midnight drive in the Mustang. Our first stop was a Shoppers' Drug Mart to pick up the morning after pill. I took a risk having unprotected sex with a stranger, but I couldn't do anything about it until I got back to Toronto. At least we could prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

From there, I let Melanie take the wheel and she took us around Halifax and over into Dartmouth as I still had some tokens for the toll bridge to get rid of. We had the top down and I shivered as we screamed down the abandoned streets. Once she had been pacified, Melanie pulled over in a Burger King parking lot back in Halifax and we drove to a McDonald's for a late snack. Afterward, we went back to the hotel room and ended my last night in Halifax with passion.

Chapter 10 - Parting ways

I opened my eyes at about 0930 and realizing that I wouldn't make the car rental office in time, I called and asked for a small extension so I could make it over. They granted it to me, only to rescind the extension when I arrived, meaning I'd be charged another day's rental fees for being 20 minutes late. I decided to keep the Mustang until it was time for me to catch my train and went for breakfast with Melanie at a local bagel shop. After breakfast, we held hands and took a stroll down Spring Garden Road, stopping briefly to watch a busker play the fiddle in a small parkette.

It was about 1000 when my phone rang. It was Ravenhawke.

"Heyyyy, how ya doin'?" he asked. I could tell he was smiling.

"I'm doin' great. I'm taking a stroll downtown on a beautiful day with a beautiful girl."

Melanie glanced at me and smiled.

"Good. I'm so glad you're happy," said Ravenhawke. "You really deserve it."

"Thanks," I said, smiling back at Melanie.

"What time does your train leave?"

"In about an hour, so I have to go return the Mustang. Can you meet me at the rental office?"

"Sure thing. We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Alright. See you then."

I closed my phone and took Melanie's hand and kissed it gently. We walked back to the car in silence and filled the car up before meeting Ravenhawke at the rental office.

I loaded all of Melanie's bags into Ravenhawke's car along with my own and finalized the paperwork for the rental. I joined Melanie in the back seat of Ravenhawke's car and we made our way to the train station. She clutched my hand with everything she had.

When we arrived at the train station, we all walked in silence. Inside, the station was bustling with activity. We found the lineup for my train and I set my bags down.

"It was great seeing you and great getting to know you a little better, Albert. Thanks for everything," said Cat as she hugged me.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm glad I got the opportunity to get to know you a little better," I said, smiling slightly.

Ravenhawke held his arms out and nearly crushed me in a bear hug.

"I'm so glad you could make it out here again. You made this trip bearable for me."

We both chuckled.

I looked over at Melanie, who smiled awkwardly.

"I'm going to miss you..." she began.

"Hey, Albert, why don't you give her a shirt to remind her of you?" volunteered Cat. "Richard and I used to do the same thing when we first started out."

"That's an excellent idea," I said, fumbling around for a shirt. I put a couple of sprays of cologne on the shirt and handed it to Melanie, who clutched it tightly.

"We'd better give these guys a moment alone," said Ravenhawke, whisking Cat away. "We'll wait for you outside, Melanie."

Melanie was gazing at the floor. I pulled her in close and gently lifted her chin so that our eyes met.

She bit her lip for a moment and threw her arms around me.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered in my ear.

"I know. I don't want to go. It'll be alright. You can call me anytime." I whispered back.

I pulled away just enough for me to look into her eyes. The sunlight beamed in through the roof of the train station, making them sparkle as she gazed at me.

"I'm glad we met," she said, pulling me in for a deep kiss.

An announcement came over the PA system for the last boarding call for my train. We stopped kissing and hugged again.

"Me too," I said, clutching her tightly.

Suddenly, Melanie pulled away, her eyes welling up with tears.

"I have to go before I start crying," she said, sheilding her face from me. "I'll call you when we get to the next town."

"Have a safe trip," I said. "Goodbye, Melanie."

Melanie nodded before turning and running for the doors, sobbing quietly.

"Bye."

I gathered up my backpack and turned to leave through my gate and found that everyone in the area had stopped to watch us. Children who were running around screaming had suddenly hushed and sat by their parents who eyed me curiously and smiled. Couples on nearby benches nestled closer together and held hands and the young female attendant at the gate smiled and motioned me to step through the gate while her two co-workers turned aside and wiped tears away from their eyes.

"Go ahead," said the attendant, handing my ticket back.

"Great. Which train?" I asked.

"I'll take him!" said one of the other attendants, jumping. "Follow me!"

"Alright. Let's roll," I said, putting on my sunglasses and glancing around the station once more.

The attendant led me through a set of automatic doors and alongside a shining VIA train. She stopped at the third car, where another attendant was waiting.

"I think he's the last one," she said.

"Thanks for your help," I said.

"You're welcome! Enjoy your trip!" she beamed.

As I stepped aboard the train, the attendant led me to my quarters, a small room with two large seats and a large window. A quick briefing from the attendant revealed that the quarters had a washroom, 2 fold out bunk beds, complete with pillows and duvets, 2 small closets and a phone for summoning the attendant as necessary. She informed me that she would be returning at meal times to notify me and left me to my own devices.

I sat and waited for what seemed like eternity, but was actually about 15 minutes before the train started to move. As the train pulled out of the station, I looked out the window and watched Halifax go by. It took nearly 40 minutes to get out of Halifax. Oddly enough, to drive out of Halifax from the VIA station probably would've taken 10 minutes. One we were out of Halifax, the train picked up significant speed and the route we were on allowed for a great view of a lush rural landscape.

I pulled out my laptop and listened to MP3's while brainstorming for this very journal entry.

At about 1315, my phone rang. It was Ravenhawke.

"Heyyyy, how ya doin?" he asked. I could tell he was smiling.

"I'm alright."

"Just calling to see how your trip's going. We're just stopping for some lunch on our way to Moncton. Melanie really misses you. She's been crying since we left the train station," he said.

"My trip's going well. There's some nice scenery along the route and it's a smooth ride," I said, pausing to hear Cat giggle in the background.

"Good," said Ravenhawke. "Well I'll let you talk to Melanie and I'll give you a shout when we get home."

"Great. Take care," I said.

There was silence as Ravenhawke passed the phone to Melanie.

"Hello?" said Melanie. Her voice quivered as though she had been crying.

"Hi Mel. How are you doing?"

"They're laughing at me because I've been crying," said Melanie. "I miss you so much, baby."

"I miss you too, Mel," I said smiling. I promise we'll see each other as soon as you're back, ok?"

"Okay."

"Good. You can call me anytime using Richard's phone or you can use the calling card I gave to you this morning."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow night before I go to work."

"Alright. I'll talk to you then. Remember to take that second pill. It's been 12 hours."

"I will. I'll take it right now. I miss you, baby."

"I miss you too, Mel."

"Bye," said Melanie, sounding decidedly better than she had when she came on the phone.

"Bye Mel."

For the most part, the train ride was a quiet blur, save for several disturbing moments.

At lunch, the server handed me a menu, even though there was only one item, a salad available.

He saw my Oakley Juliets resting on the table and spoke to me with a thick French accent.

"Niis-uh Oakleys. Arr dey ree-al?" ("Nice Oakleys. Are they real?" - translated from Quebec French by Babelfish)

I shot him a glance and realizing that it might have been a little hostile, smiled slighltly.

"They sure are. X-men limited edition Juliets," I said.

"Coo-al, meng. Enjoy your mee-al." ("Cool, man. Enjoy your meal." - translated again from Quebec French by Babelfish)

At dinner, I was herded into a group that was coming from a conference of some kind. They occupied all the seating in the dining car, so I chose instead to purchase a few snacks and slink back to the privacy of my room to watch episodes of Drawn Together on my laptop. I watched until about 2300, choosing to stay in my quarters for the 2100 movie "Star Wars - The Phantom Menace" with a bunch of screaming 6-year olds, before calling it a night.

I awoke at about 0300 to find the train had halted completely. Looking out the window, I could only tell that we had come to a halt at the bottom of some ravine. No wonder the trip from Halifax to Toronto takes more than a day. The train stops, whereas we had stopped minimally on the way there. I guess trains don't have autopilot. Or maybe they do, but the autopilots are unable to stop at stations. Or maybe I should've just flown home.

Feeling restless, I left my quarters and went to the canteen car, hoping that there was some staff available as I was thirsty and hungry. As I walked through each car, the train hummed with power and there were points where the train seemed to be inching along the tracks. Finding no staff available, I went to the observation car to see if I could get an idea of where we were. Looking out through the domed upper deck proved to be fruitless. Just barely visible by the moonlight were lines of trees and the walls of the ravine surrounding us. Truly, we were in the middle of nowhere. With only my thoughts of Melanie to accompany me, I went back to my quarters and tried to sleep.

Chapter 11 - Home at last

Sleep, though surprisingly comfortable, came in small pockets as I was jostled awake occasionally by the sudden lurching of the train. I suppose at some point we were moving again and despite not moving very quickly, the ride was still a little unsteady. We arrived in Ottawa at about 0830 and I was hustled off the train and directed to another train on which only a handful of passengers from the first train came to. I found myself a window seat and put my bags in the overhead storage before sitting down with my laptop to do some more writing. The train was rolling at 0900 and we were well on our way. Though the trip was nice, I am disappointed with VIA for their shoddy service on the sleeper car and for having to purchase my lunch on the train back to Toronto.

I paid nearly $700 for a train ticket and I:

a) got insulted by a separatist cheese-eating surrender monkey
b) missed dinner because they placed me in a late dining timeslot
c) had to buy lunch the next day - $9.00 for a fucking packaged sandwich, chocolate bar and a can of ginger ale?

My laptop was drained by 1000, leaving me to stare out the window for the remaining 3 hours. It seemed to pass quickly though and before long, I was seeing parts of Toronto that I had always driven by, but never been through as the tracks seem to be their own world.

I arrived at Union Station at 1345 and through some miracle, I was able to drag myself home where I fell asleep before Melanie called.

I did, after all, have to work that night.

Epilogue

"Come here," she said, pulling me in for a long goodbye kiss before we parted ways. She was on her way to work and I was headed back to Toronto. "I'll call you from work. I love you, baby."

I'm not sure what happened to her, but after I visited her, Melanie had changed.

She broke things off with me just two days before my birthday, which I don't fault her for.

When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?

The timing was just shitty for me.

What I found most troubling was that it was for no obvious reason and that I began to hear through Cat that Melanie was attacking my character, only she had no solid foundation on which to base her attacks. It was almost as if she were looking for reasons to hate me. Which was odd, because we got along so well. I never said anything to make her feel bad and I never made her do anything that she didn't want to do. I let her live her life the way she wanted, but I guess ultimately, she didn't want to have to answer to anyone.

Not that she was really answering to me.

Quite the opposite in fact. She had ignored my calls for a week before breaking it off.

For several weeks, I lived in misery. I lost sleep, endlessly replaying things in my mind, looking for something I might have done or said wrong. I lost weight from not eating and neglecting my training. I was looking for an answer.

But I found nothing.

I remain hopeful that somehow, it was something I needed to go through to get to where I am now.

Let's see what happens when I wind up on the east coast with Ravenhawke again.

Halifax Redux Part 1 - 09.08.2006

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:30:08 GMT

Please note that the events occurring in this entry took place in 2006.

Yes, it took me almost a year to get it done.

Prologue

For weeks, I had been anticipating a return trip to Halifax since Ravenhawke had suggested that I return with him this year for another psychic fair. I was looking forward to seeing Sherri, a friend that I had made in Halifax and to visiting Peggy's Cove to sit by the ocean again.

For about as many weeks, Buttons' health had been declining steadily since the onset of mammary cancer in her.

I cradled Buttons' lifeless body as the mobile veterinarian and his assistant left.

Having her euthanized was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Everyone says I've stopped her from suffering anymore, but I can't help but wonder if I've prematurely robbed her of precious life.

8 years ago, I got Buttons from Howard Morgan, an old friend that I met during my later high school days at Contact Alternative School. Kathy, an old ex-girlfriend had just moved out to live with Steve, the draft-dodging pseudo-hippy English teacher who had been fired from Contact for sexual harassment. Howard called me up one day after one of his wild club nights during which he rarely was able to bring a woman home. He wanted me to watch Buttons for a maximum of 96 hours, while her owner, some skanky club chick went away on vacation. He had no idea how to take care of a kitten and I had recently raised a second litter. With Kathy's cat Aurora gone and both Carwash and Haven fixed, I didn't see a problem with it, especially since it was just for a few days.

4 days later, I called Howard. He paged the club girl but got no response. It became all too clear what had just happened.

Girl gets a cat she can't handle the responsibility of keeping.

Girl meets boy.

Girl asks boy to "watch" the cat for a few days.

Boy agrees, believing he'll get a piece of the girl's tail after watching the cat's tail.

Girl vanishes.

Boy is stuck with the cat and egg on his face.

Remarkably, I *have* heard of this before. Buttons had grown on me and it seemed as though she got along with the other cats, so I didn't mind keeping her.

Here we were, 8 years later and Buttons was barely larger than she was when I got her. Somehow, her growth was delayed, despite receiving the same care as my other cats. I know I got mad at her for urinating on my things, but I never hit her and I never loved her any less than the others.

I sobbed uncontrollably as I realized the impact of my actions and despaired that I couldn't do more to save her.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "Please don't be mad."

Chapter 1 - The Waiting Game

Earlier in the day, I was taking one of my routine strolls on my break from work at CAMH when my phone rang. It was Ravenhawke.

"Hey, Albert. It's Richard calling. How are you doing?"

I could tell that he was smiling.

"I'm tired, but I'm ok."

I wasn't ok.

I was actually dreading having the day end because it meant that I'd eventually have to face up to the decision to put Buttons down.

"Good, good, good. Listen, I'm really drained from work this past week and I haven't even packed. I'm going to stay home and get some sleep so we can leave early tomorrow. Cat will come and pick you up at about 9:30 or 10:00 when she's done working in Hamilton and you can come up from there and we'll leave in the morning."

"Ok. Is she a good driver?" I asked jokingly.

"Oh yeah," said Ravenhawke. "I mean she doesn't have her license, but she drives really well and doesn't speed."

I stopped in mid-stride as that all-too-familiar sinking feeling hit.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. She's driven me to and from psychic fairs all over Ontario without any problems," said Ravenhawke.

I sighed.

"Alright. I suppose it's too late to do anything about it at this point."

I had planned to take the bus to Ottawa, but Ravenhawke called me the night before to tell me that he'd be picking me up to drive me to Ottawa to save me the cost of a bus ticket. It seemed that I had no other choice, but next time, there will be no exceptions.

"Good. Well, Cat should be picking you up at about ten or ten-thirty. She gets off work at nine and it takes about forty-five minutes to get to Toronto from Hamilton. Oh, and you'll get to meet Melanie too. She's a sweet little brunette thing. Cat wants to set you guys up. Maybe she can stay with you in your room, " said Ravenhawke, chuckling.

"Well, I don't know about that, but I'll be ready."

"Great. I'll see you tonight. I'm really glad you're coming along." said Ravenhawke smiling again.

"No worries. I'll see you tonight," I said, smiling back.

Kim, the social worker for the Emergency Department and EAU, had offered to accompany me and offer support through Buttons' euthanasia. After it was over, it was determined that the staff at the "Pets at Peace" pet funeral service wouldn't be by to pick up Buttons' remains until about 2200. I drove Kim back to her place downtown before scooting home to pack, as Cat would be arriving at almost the same time.

I was packed and ready by 2030 and all that remained was for Pets at Peace to arrive. By 2130 it began to rain, with moderate winds rustling the branches of the neighbourhood trees with the promise of heavier rainfall.

It was about 2220 when the co-director at Pets at Peace arrived. The driving rain was enough to reduce visibility and slow traffic. I had suspected that Cat would be held up. The co-director took Buttons' remains carefully and we finalized plans for me to pick up her ashes on my return from Halifax. I then escorted the director back to her van as the rain pounded on us.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," said the co-director before getting into the truck.

I watched in silence as she drove away, wishing that things hadn't ended up the way they had. I was drained from the events of the day and didn't even feel like going to Halifax at that point, but I knew I had to, for my sanity if nothing else.

I went back to my room and recorded the events of the past few hours before zoning out and trying to fall asleep in my bed.

I wasn't expecting Cat anymore.

Chapter 2 - Midnight Run

I was pulled from that semi-conscious haze that comes just before sleep by the ringing of my phone.

I sat up and looked at the clock.

0234 meant that I hadn't been out of it for more than half an hour. Cat was 3 hours late. Ravenhawke would've said that she was running on Indian time.

"Running on Indian time" is an expression reserved for those who are oblivious to the passage of time or its possible consequences on others, resulting in an "I'll get there when I get there" attitude. I'm not sure how it applies to natives, but Ravenhawke gave the expression to me. It's kind of racist, actually.

I rushed over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hey Albert, it's Cat," said a bright-sounding female on the other end of the phone.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"How are ya?"

I paused for a moment to think.

I dislike having to dump my problems on other people because I'm usually the one listening to problems. That, and it seems that almost all of my problems start and end with me.

"I've seen better days," I said.

"Aw....what's wrong?" asked Cat.

"I'll tell you all about it in a few minutes. I just need to grab my bags and I'll be right out,"

"Okay," said Cat.

I hung up the phone and gathered up my bags. Carwash and Haven woke up from their spots on my bed and trotted over to me as if to see me to the door. I made one more visual sweep of my room and sighed before leaving.

I opened the door and glanced out into the dimly lit street. The rain had subsided for the most part, leaving only a slight drizzle.

Stepping out of the house, I found that Cat wasn't in the driveway. I couldn't quite figure out how she could've gotten lost, because she was provided with comprehensive directions. I would later discover that Cat has a mild learning disability.

As it turned out, Cat was parked across the street in someone else's driveway. She hadn't killed the lights (which were shining into their house) and the music was blaring away through open windows.

I left my bags just inside the house and quietly crept up alongside the car. Cat and her guest were blissfully unaware of my presence.

"HI!," I boomed.

The girls jumped in their seats.

"You scared the shit out of me," said Cat, smiling.

"That was the plan. You might want to move the car across the street, because I actually live over there," I said pointing to the house.

Cat moved the car into my driveway and I loaded my bags. I made one final sweep of my room and house and was about to close the door when Cat and her friend came up to the doorstep.

"Can we use the washroom?" asked Cat, grinning sheepishly.

"Sure, come on in. Don't mind the mess."

As we stood in the doorway, Cat stepped aside, allowing me to see her friend.

"Albert, this is Melanie," said Cat cheerfully as she stepped into the washroom.

I looked over at Melanie, a slender, scantily-clad petite brunette with very nice legs. Unfortunately, it was all I could see of her because she was back lit by the street lamps.

"She's got long brown hair with blonde streaks and the most beautiful emerald green eyes," Cat had told me during one of our phone conversations a few weeks back. "I have a feeling you guys are going to get along famously as friends and maybe as more than friends."

Somehow, this wasn't quite the magic moment that Cat had promised in that phone call earlier.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," said Melanie.

We stood quietly and waited for Cat. When she came out, Melanie quickly ducked into the washroom. Cat examined the fish tanks in the house, marveling at the size of the fish contained within. Moments later, Melanie emerged from the washroom.

"Let's roll," I said, sweeping the room one more time.

My thoughts drifted back to Buttons and the events that had transpired just a few hours earlier.

I closed the door to the house and got into the car, eager to leave it all behind.

Chapter 3 - Just Passing Through

Melanie fell asleep shortly after we got on the road, leaving Cat and I to talk on the drive to Ottawa. Leaving Cat to talk and me to listen was more accurate. I wasn't in the mood to do much talking. I was still mourning the loss of Buttons.

Cat jumped from topic to topic and to be honest, I was mostly too drained to recall most of them, but I think we got a slightly better understanding of each other. Not to say that there was any kind of misunderstanding, but Cat and I didn't know each other very well. Our conversations were usually brief, limited by time or some other constraint. This time, fatigue would be the culprit.

At points, I nodded off, only to be jarred awake by the headrest whenever we hit a rough patch of road.

Four grueling hours later, we arrived at Ravenhawke's house in the village of Dunrobin. Ravenhawke greeted us and had already prepared a place to sleep for me. I crashed almost instantly.

A few hours later, I woke up feeling somewhat better, but still drained.

Ravenhawke and I chatted for a while as Cat had gone to have her hair done for the trip. About an hour later, Cat appeared and the race was on.

Or so I thought. Ravenhawke still needed new tires.

It was about 1500 when we were finally on the 417 eastbound out of Ottawa.

I was dreading the trip that lay ahead of us. I hoped that we would drive straight there with minimal stopping.

The roads we took this time around were different, or so they appeared. The route certainly wasn't familiar, but through trial and error, we found our way to Quebec. Trouble is, we got lost in Quebec for about an hour, which put us behind on an already 18-hour drive. We also were in Quebec during the rush hours and the Quebecois are a maniacal lot behind the wheel.

We stopped briefly for a meal at a gas station/Subway sandwich stop where I discovered that both Cat and Melanie have a penchant for pornography. I shouldn't have been surprised considering their line of work, but I was.

Nightfall came and we decided to stop for a washroom break. We pulled off the highway into a restaurant parking lot and the car emptied. I stayed in the parking lot and stretched. The brisk night air woke me up a little and I was anticipating having to drive soon.

Melanie came back from the washroom first, and stood with me. She was about to find out how socially inept I was. I was reminded of the Simpson's episode where Ralph Wiggum has a crush on Lisa and tries to talk to her...

"So...do you...like...stuff?

It was showtime.

"So how long have you known Richard and Cat?" I asked.

"Since January," said Melanie, lighting up a cigarette. "New Year's Day, as a matter of fact."

"How'd you meet?" I asked.

"Cat and I work together," she said, blowing out a lungful of smoke. "And I moved into a basement apartment in the same house last month."

"Oh. So what are you doing on this trip? Just getting away?" I asked.

"I used to live in Yarmouth. Cat begged me to come with her to work in Halifax and I could visit. I had to make sure my son was looked after though. When we get back, I get him for a week." said Melanie.

"Well, that sounds good," I said, grasping at straws.

Cat came sauntering up behind me.

"Awwwww...look at you two, all getting along. You guys are soooo cute."

I looked at Melanie, who was smiling and smiled awkwardly before turning away, blushing.

"C'mon, girl. Let's roll a joint, "said Cat.

They both got into the back seat of the car and rustled around their purses, presumably for drug paraphernalia. I glanced over at the door to the men's room, which was visible from outside the restaurant. A line had formed at the beginning of my brief conversation with Melanie, but the line was gone, leaving an opportunity for me to excuse myself.

"I'll be back. I'm just going to use the washroom before we get moving again.

I ran into Ravenhawke as he was coming out of the restaurant.

"You know, I don't think anything's going to happen with Melanie," I said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh no? Why's that?" asked Ravenhawke.

"Well, I'm having trouble talking to her," I said.

"Trust me, she thinks you're cute," said Ravenhawke, flashing me a thumbs up. "She said to Cat, 'He's definitely going to get laid this weekend.' Just relax and see where it goes."

The thought of sleeping with an attractive stranger was intriguing, but not something I would do.

I quickly joined everybody in the car and we were on our way again.

At some point during the night, I took over the driving to take us out of Quebec and through New Brunswick. Because we were in unfamiliar territory, we had to find a new route into New Brunswick. We were on the right track until I missed a critical exit ramp to highway 185 causing another 45 minute delay. It was funny, the way it happened, because I had another one of those sinking feelings when I passed it.

"A stop sign? I don't remember that... So now what?" I asked.

"Turn right, it's toward New Brunswick," suggested Ravenhawke.

"Alright..." I hesitated. "What kind of highway has a stop sign?"

We pulled into a gas station to ask for directions. Cat got out to ask for directions and Melanie went with her, in the event that a French-speaker was needed.

"We just have to keep going along this road," said Cat, emerging from the station.

"We do? Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yup," said Cat.

We continued on for another 20 or so minutes, passing the scene of a traffic accident in the process before happening across another gas station to ask directions at. We stopped and Ravenhawke asked for directions while the girls stirred in the back seat as they had fallen asleep. Ravenhawke was able to determine that the critical exit that I had missed earlier was in fact, the correct exit to take. I turned us around to head back and as we passed the scene of the accident, Cat woke up and caught a glimpse of the scene through all the lights and sirens.

She gasped in horror at whatever it was that she saw.

"The roof of the car was missing and the driver was just covered in blood," she said.

"Sounds like they used the jaws of life," said Ravenhawke. "I wonder what happened..."

"Driver probably feel asleep at the wheel. It's pretty late and they were probably driving for a long time," I rationalized.

A sudden chill ran down my spine.

It was probably a fatality.

"Yeah, you're probably right," said Ravenhawke.

We passed the accident quietly after that and continued back along Quebec Autoroute 20 while I looked for the critical exit.

Which wasn't there.

At least, there wasn't a critical exit from the westbound side.

I decided to exit and get us back eastbound. When we were eastbound again, I noticed that the gas tank's warning light had come up. We passed an information booth and I quickly pulled in. It was closed, but a map had been posted in the window allowing me to determine our way. Several tractor trailers had pulled in and Melanie had taken it upon herself to run over and ask one of the drivers how far we were from highway 185. When I was done with the map, I instinctively walked past the car to meet Melanie on her way back from the truck.

We stopped for a moment and stood together.

I don't know if it was intentional or not, but Melanie moved in a little closer.

At that very moment, I felt an overwhelming magnetic pull.

I resisted the urge to reach out and draw her near.

"What have you got?" I asked.

Melanie made eye contact with me briefly before glancing away. She was shivering from the night air.

"We just have to keep going for another two minutes and then we're right there," she said.

"Excellent," I said nodding. I felt like such a nerd.

"Those guys were dirty old men," said Melanie. "They were like, 'Why don't you come and sit in the truck with us and we'll give you directions.' I was like, 'No thanks.'"

"Dirtbags," I muttered. "Let's get out of here before we run out of gas."

We continued along and sure enough, we came upon Highway 185. We powered down the 185 until I came across a small Petro Canada about 5 minutes along. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled into the station. Everyone woke up as I cut the engine.

"I'll cover the gas. It's the least I can do for getting us off track like that," I said, getting out of the car.

The blinding fluorescent lights did wonders to wake me up. I put $40 in the tank and walked into the store to settle up. Moments later, Cat walked in. The attendant was an older fellow with unkempt hair and a trucker's cap. He hadn't shaved for a couple of days, judging by the stubble on his gaunt face. He peered at me from behind a pair of aviator framed glasses while a large black and white butterfly flitted around the light fixture in the ceiling above him.

I yawned and looked around before approaching the counter. Cat was browsing for a drink.

"Long night?" he asked, grinning.

"Yeah. And it's far from over," I replied, half-smiling.

"Where are you headed?"

"Halifax," I said, handing him the $40 and my Petro-points card.

"Really? You've got a bit of a drive ahead of you then," he said, still grinning.

An SUV pulled up outside and a well-dressed man got out to gas up.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. The butterfly was still flitting around the lights.

"You've still got to make it past Fredericton and through Moncton before you get to Nova Scotia," said the clerk.

"Well, it shouldn't be a problem. We're driving straight on through and there are four of us so we can-"

I was cut off by some foreign object hitting my mouth and teeth.

It was the butterfly. Apparently, it had tried to fly into my mouth for some odd reason. I sputtered and the butterfly flitted away again as the clerk chuckled.

"What the hell?" I spat, waving the butterfly away.

"It likes you," he said.

Cat was standing behind me so she didn't see exactly what happened, but she saw me sputtering.

"What happened?" she asked.

"The thing flew right into my mouth," I said, turning to leave. "I'll be back."

I ran from the counter back to the car, passing the owner of the SUV on the way. I had half a bottle of water sitting on the dashboard, so I grabbed it and took a huge swig, rinsing my mouth out before spitting all the water out in front of the car. I poured the remaining water on my face and washed my face, while Melanie and Ravenhawke watched, slightly confused. Cat came back to the car.

"Sorry about that," I said opening the door to talk to everyone. "I'm going to go back in to get a drink. Does anyone want anything?"

"What happened?" asked Melanie.

"There was this butterfly flying around inside and it flew into my face and almost right into my mouth," I said sheepishly.

The clerk emerged from the store and released the butterfly into the open air. Oddly, it tried to get back inside before landing on the ground near the door.

Melanie and Cat giggled.

"Yeah. I'll be back in a sec," I said.

I walked back inside the store and browsed for flavoured water and SoBe green tea.

I'm not sure what it is about flavoured water, but I drink much more water that way, without feeling bloated and full.

After a few minutes, the owner of the SUV, who was chatting with the clerk, left. He eyeballed Ravenhawke's car and its occupants hard while I followed him with my eyes. He drove off without incident as I made my selections and went to the counter.

"Sorry about that," said the clerk. "That was the owner of the gas station."

"It was?" I asked, rhetorically.

It didn't really matter who owned it. We hadn't done anything wrong and in a few moments, we'd be gone.

"Yeah. He's drunk," said the clerk matter-of-factly.

"And he's driving, huh? Not a good idea," I said.

"Nope. But hopefully if anything happens, he'll only kill himself," said the clerk.

"Yeah," I said, pocketing my change. "Thanks."

"Drive safe and good luck," said the clerk.

"Thanks."

I got back in the car and started it up.

"Sorry about the holdup. Let's roll," I said.

"Are you okay?" asked Melanie.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting that butterfly to fly into my mouth. I was watching it the whole time and right when I take my eyes off it to pay the cashier, WHAM!"

"It wanted to give you a kiss," said Melanie, smiling. "They say that butterflies are actually spirits. Do you have any dead girlfriends that you didn't say goodbye to?"

I wondered about Buttons. She was spotted black and white, eerily coincidental to this butterfly which was also spotted black and white.

"No," I said, throwing the car into drive. "No dead girlfriends here. Maybe a couple that I wish were dead though."

Melanie giggled.

We got back on the road with renewed vigilance and I downed my super-caffeine-booster-energy-power drink. (Sobe Adrenaline Rush) I was ready to go. The roads were smooth and empty and before long, everyone was sleeping again. I stopped once more about 2 hours after to quickly consult a map and get another caffeine drink before moving along again. I was alone with my thoughts so I was able to focus on getting there. Melanie had curled up into a little ball in the seat next to me. I stole glances at her from time to time and wondered what, if anything would happen between us. Ravenhawke and Cat were so sure that we'd hit it off, but reality seemed to dictate otherwise. The hours dragged on and just after sunrise, we pulled into an Irving station outside Fredericton. I had been behind the wheel for about 7 hours.

I had a slight headache from lack of sleep, so I opted to sleep rather than eat breakfast. I was feeling nauseous anyway. I woke up briefly when everyone got back in the car. This time, Cat was at the wheel. It was only a few moments before I passed out again.

Chapter 4 - Halifax

When I woke up, Ravenhawke was behind the wheel. I returned my seat to its regular upright position to see that we had just passed Halifax International Airport, putting us about a half an hour outside Halifax. I stretched and reached for my phone. It was somewhere around 1100, which would've allowed us enough time to drop Ravenhawke at the fairgrounds and find our way to the Dalhousie University residence where I had booked 2 rooms for us. Check-in time wasn't until 1500, which meant we had a little time to kill.

I sent a text message to Sherri indicating that we were on our way into town. We eventually made it into town and Ravenhawke needed to eat before working at the psychic fair, so we stopped downtown at the Peel Pub for lunch.

Over lunch, Cat and Melanie were able to get directions to the club that they were supposed to work at for the week. "Ralph's Place" was in Dartmouth, which meant taking the toll bridge that spanned across the harbour. I was astounded at how openly Cat and Melanie could talk about working as exotic dancers. Just as astounding was how knowledgeable and helpful the female wait staff were in directing us.

I guess I'm just naive to these things. Sex is a bigger seller than I could have imagined and it looked like it wasn't as taboo as I had been raised to believe. The times, they are a-changing and I began to see just how sheltered I had been for all my life. I thought that I was gaining vast amounts of insight into the darker side of society working at CAMH, but really, it seemed that this would be the tip of the iceberg. It felt odd, sitting at lunch with a psychic and two exotic dancers and I became acutely aware of how easy it actually is to fall by the wayside. I had always had an idea, but not like this.

The potential gain from engaging in less savoury activities is enough to entice many into that kind of lifestyle. Why spend half your life in school to become a doctor when you can potentially make the same money from the want and suffering of others without ever having attended school and in a much shorter period? Why bother trying to do the right thing when in mere moments, you can just give someone what they want and make hundreds or potentially thousands? It's a big risk, but the payoff is bigger. And there are times where the risk is minimal.

What is it that separates the good people from the bad? And what about the astronomical gray area between good and bad? Both Cat and Melanie are good people when all is said and done, but the lives they lead take them further along a dark path, perhaps to a darker fate. There's still hope for both of them, but they have to want to leave.

After lunch, we made our way back to the car. The girls drifted behind a little bit as Ravenhawke and I were lost in some discussion. My concentration was broken by someone groping my buttocks. I looked back to see both Cat and Melanie giggling. I smiled and turned back. I dropped Ravenhawke off at the fair and drove the girls to the club that they had planned to work at. Thanks to the helpful staff at the Peel Pub, I had a map of Halifax and Dartmouth at my disposal. Navigating the city last year was a bit troublesome, but now everything would be fine.

Ralph's Place is an unassuming spot built into a strip mall (no pun intended) in Dartmouth, right across the street from the St. John Ambulance Maritime School of Paramedicine. I pulled up outside and the girls went in to speak with the manager about getting work for duration of their stay. I chose not to go into the strip club, opting instead to stay in the car.

I told myself all through high school that I had wanted to visit a strip club on my 19th birthday.

Here I was at 30 and I still hadn't been in one yet.

I imagine things won't be any different by the time I hit 60.

Or 90.

After about 15 minutes, the girls came out and got in the car. I started the car up. It was about 1500 and Dalhousie would have our rooms ready.

"So what's the news?" I asked.

"We're good," said Cat. "We have to go get ready and be back for seven."

"Ok. We should go check in then," I said pulling out of the parking lot.

Finding the Dalhousie Residence was easy, thanks to the phone book map that the Peel Pub staff had given us.

Shirreff Hall looks just like an Ivy League residence.

From the outside, anyway.

There ongoing renovations in progress when we arrived, which meant that there were only 2 floors available for accommodation. Not that it mattered. What mattered was that the rooms were clean and cheap. The foyer was well lit with doors leading into a study on the west side, a large conference room to the north and a grand staircase leading to the second floor. Behind the main counter was a young man, slightly taller than I am, but much pudgier with dark brown hair, blue eyes and the beginnings of a scruffy beard.

"Hi, can I help you?" he asked.

"Yes. I've got a couple of rooms booked starting today," I said.

"Ok. What's your last name?"

"Kwan."

"I remember speaking to you on the phone," he remarked.

"Are you Logan?" I asked.

Logan nodded.

From that point on, Logan was supremely helpful in helping us get squared away, much like he was during my phone call to book the rooms two weeks prior. After filling out some forms, Logan handed me the keys for both my room and Ravenhawke's room. The girls hauled their luggage in behind me and I handed Cat the keys to their room.

I had ordered a double room for Ravenhawke and Cat because I was expecting Melanie to be sharing a room with them, despite Ravenhawke's assurances that Melanie would wind up in my bed. The concept was totally foreign to me.

I escorted Cat and Melanie to their room and arranged for them to notify me when they were ready to leave before finding my own room and unpacking and setting up my laptop. After setting up, I went back to the front desk to talk to Logan about the various amenities that were available on site. Staying at Shirreff Hall allowed us the use of the fitness centre and while high-speed internet access is available in the rooms for a fee, it required the installation of some software, which was something I wasn't keen on doing. I was happy to use a cybercafe.

I went back to my room hoping to catch a short nap before taking the girls back to the club. So far, things were starting off the way my last trip to Halifax did. With me being exhausted and sleeping. As I lay in bed, I hoped that I wouldn't be spending too much time sleeping. I was prepared this time around to spend a lot of time out and about, sailing on a tall ship, returning to Peggy's Cove and hanging out with Sherri.

I woke up a short time later and glanced out the window. The sun was still out and there was a slight breeze, so I opened the window to air out the room, which had become fairly stuffy. Glancing out across the grounds, I noticed many of the other windows open. Following along the floor that I was on, I spotted Melanie sitting on the window ledge facing away from me with her arm hanging out the window, a lit cigarette in her hand.

I felt like playing a small prank, so I poked my head out the window.

"Hey! No smoking!" I shouted, trying to sound authoritative.

Instantly, Melanie's arm disappeared from the window and the window closed.

I chuckled.

Moments later, the window opened again and Cat appeared.

"Was that you?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah," I said grinning.

"You're a bum," she said, laughing. "You scared us."

"Yeah, but it was funny," I said, still grinning. "Are you guys going to be ready soon?"

"Yeah, just give us a few minutes. We'll come and get you," said Cat.

I nodded and set my laptop to play some music before laying down again. After what seemed like ten minutes or so, a knock came at my door.

Opening the door, I found Cat and Melanie all dolled up with their hair tied back into ponytails.

"We're ready," grinned Cat.

"Ok. Just let me put on my shoes and we'll go."

I gathered up everything I'd need for the drive and we were off. We'd be cutting things close but we'd make it. The girls had spent more than 3 hours "getting ready." Not that it hadn't paid off. They looked great. But I wondered if the same look couldn't have been accomplished in 2 hours or even 2 and a half hours.

It was a moot point. We arrived at the club right at 1900. Cat and Melanie rushed out of the car.

"I'll call you when we're finished so you can come pick us up," said Cat.

"Ok. You guys look great. Uh...Good luck," I fumbled.

What else could I have said?

"Thanks," said Cat grinning broadly.

I watched the girls disappear into the club before leaving. It was 1910 and I still had 3 hours to kill before I needed to pick up Ravenhawke. I stopped by to visit Ravenhawke at the fair briefly before heading out to NuBody's gym where I had worked out the last time I was in Halifax. Thanks to the 2 day trip to Halifax, I hadn't worked out since that Monday. After the workout, I picked up Ravenhawke and brought him back to Shirreff Hall where we chatted for a bit before heading out to pick up the girls.

The girls had made a killing at the club. Just like I thought they would. They gushed about how much money they had made and rolled another joint.

I can see how it would be hard to walk away from that.

When we got back to Shirreff Hall, I showered and settled in for the night, putting the events of the day behind me. Things would be better the next day after a good night's sleep.

Chapter 5 - The Fireworks Begin

I was up early to take Ravenhawke to the fair. He had asked me to pick up some tapes for his readings the day before, (which I completely forgot) so I grabbed a bunch of tapes and dropped them off with Ravenhawke. I'm not really sure about what happened next.

I was *supposed* to go to the beach with Sherri and Claudette, but things didn't quite turn out that way. I arrived back at Shirreff Hall and took a short nap. Except that the short nap turned into a long nap...

When I woke up, it was about 1600 and I had missed a call from Sherri. I had a very small window of opportunity to meet with her which I had missed, but I called her back. I let her know that Ravenhawke was at the fair and that she should visit him. I scouted around my floor looking for the laundry room. I passed a lot of rooms with open doors that had other visitors like myself staying temporarily. It seemed that they were content to sit in their rooms and watch movies on their computers. I grumbled at having wasted the day.

After dropping off the girls at the club, I made my way back to the fair and met up with Sherri. Things took a little longer than usual because the main bridge into Dartmouth was closed down for a fireworks display scheduled to take place later in the evening. Each year, on the Natal Day weekend, the Angus MacDonald bridge is closed down as the fireworks are launched from the bridge. We chatted for a bit and took a walk with her daughter to the nearby Sobey's to get a quick meal while Ravenhawke started a reading. We chatted some more about the usual things (work, relationships, money and future plans) before heading back to the fair to catch Ravenhawke.

When we got back, Ravenhawke was finishing up the reading. We sat and chatted for a while before the sound of fireworks could be heard. Business had slowed at the fair enough that many of the other psychics had wandered outside to smoke and socialize. Ginger, one of the fair organizers had motioned us over to watch the fireworks. Sherri's daughter went scampering off with Sherri hot on her heels. Ravenhawke and I sauntered out to join them.

If there's one thing that can be said about the fireworks in Halifax, it's that they kick the crap out of anything I've ever seen in Toronto. And this is where they hold the international fireworks competition!
After the fireworks were over, Ravenhawke and I dropped Sherri and her daughter off at home and waited for Sherri to put her daughter to bed. After a few moments, Sherri came back and joined us in the common room of her place, a 4-bedroom floor in a house.

"Claudette's mad at you," said Sherri.

"She is? Why?" I asked.

"Because she came over from Dartmouth to see you and you didn't make it. She feels completely ripped off because she didn't get to see you without a shirt on."

Ravenhawke and I laughed.

"She says the next time she sees you, she's just going to say, 'Shirt - off'. That's all she wants. She got to feel it when she hugged you, but she wants to see too."

"Nice," chuckled Ravenhawke.

I kept laughing.

Sherri prepared a digital camera and snapped a couple of pictures of Ravenhawke and myself. She then excused herself to see to her daughter.

"Is that your camera?" I asked Sherri.

"It's Claudette's. I'll be right back," said Sherri, disappearing down the hall.

I grinned an evil grin and grabbed the camera and pulled my shirt off, revealing white Under Armour Heatgear in full effect.

"Take some pics," I said handing the camera to Ravenhawke. "Let's tease Claudette a little."

I posed twice, and Ravenhawke got two excellent shots. I have to say that Under Armour does wonders for the ego. I quickly replaced the camera just as Sherri returned.

"What did you do?" asked Sherri.

"Nothing..." I said, grinning mischievously.

"Let me see..." said Sherri picking up the camera.

Sherri fell silent as she cycled through the camera.

"Oh...wow. Claudette will like those," said Sherri.

"Make sure you send them to me too," I said. "I normally don't like the way I look in white shirts, but this time, things are different."

"I'll make sure Claudette sends them to you too. I don't have the cable with me," said Sherri.

We chatted for a few more minutes before my phone rang. It was Cat.

"Hi, Albert. How're you doing?" asked Cat.

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"Albert, I need to ask you a really big favour. Can you come pick us up?" said Cat urgently.

"Cat, is everything alright?" I asked, slightly concerned at the way Cat sounded.

"We just had a really bad night and we don't want to be here anymore. Can you come get us, please?" pleaded Cat.

"Okay. Sit tight. I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can," I said, glancing at Ravenhawke and shrugging.

"Thanks," said Cat, clearly relieved.

"We'll see you soon. Hang in there," I said.

I hung up the phone and looked at Ravenhawke and Sherri, who were both slightly confused.

"What's going on?" asked Ravenhawke.

"The girls had a bad night and want us to go and pick them up. That's all I got." I said.

"Jeez," said Ravenhawke, rolling his eyes.

"I guess this means you gotta go, huh?" asked Sherri.

"We'll go in ten minutes," said Ravenhawke. "The girls can wait."

I readied myself for the drive while Ravenhawke chatted a little more with Sherri and made plans to meet again. At the same time, Sherri's roommates came in from a wedding. They'd been drinking and were very jolly and chatty, which kept us from leaving for another few minutes. Eventually, we got on the road and I rushed us to the club with a sense of urgency.

When we arrived, Cat and Melanie were sitting outside. They walked over and got into the car.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"We've just had a really bad night. I don't think we'll come back," said Cat. "We got an offer to do a stag party, but not much else."

"Well, everyone's out watching the fireworks tonight," I said.

"Yeah, but we got treated really badly. The people were bad, the staff were bad, the other dancers were bitches.."

"Some asshole threw a dollar at my pussy!" interrupted Melanie.

I glanced over at Ravenhawke, who was suppressing a grin.

"Whoa," I said. What kind of jerk would do that?"

"I went right to the DJ and he got the bouncer to throw him out, but what the fuck? It hurt! And it makes you feel cheap too," she continued. "I hate this place. I miss my son and I just want to go home."

Cat had suggested that they go to the stag party, which caused a disagreement with Ravenhawke. They bickered for a few moments before settling. Ravenhawke wanted to spend some time alone with Cat, as things had become increasingly difficult since she had taken up dancing again. But Cat, not wanting to waste the opportunity, wanted to go to the stag party. Eventually, it was decided that they would go, and that Ravenhawke would go home to bed, while I picked up the girls later. Somewhere along the way to the hotel where the stag was, Melanie got irate at something and started an angry little rant culminating in...

"Maybe I should just get my own hotel room!" she said, as she slammed the car door shut.

I looked over at Ravenhawke.

"I guess this is where I come in," I said opening my door to follow her.

Cat and Ravenhawke were discussing something at his window while I stopped Melanie as she rounded the back of the car.

"Melanie, wait," I said.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I know this sounds crazy, but I don't want you to go off and get your own hotel room," I said, my heart pounding. "So...if you want, you can stay with me tonight. What do you think?"

Melanie paused for a moment in silence. I looked up to see Cat grinning from ear to ear before looking back at Melanie.

"I think I'm going to melt," said Melanie walking over to Cat and clinging to her shyly.

"Awwwww....look at you..." said Cat. "You're so cute."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" asked Melanie.

"I'll see you in a little while," I said, smiling.

The girls turned and trotted off happily into the hotel and I drove Ravenhawke back to Shirreff Hall. Ravenhawke and I chatted for a bit before he turned in and I listened to music on my laptop, waiting for a call from Cat. Eventually the call came and I went and picked the girls up. They seemed like they were in a better mood, having made some money, which prevented the night from being a total write-off. When we got back to Shirreff Hall, Melanie went to gather up some clothes and freshen up before showing up at my door. Melanie started changing her clothes in front of me without warning, a move that caught me off guard. I turned away and blushed a little. Melanie hopped into my bed. I went to take a shower and by the time I got back, Melanie was sound asleep.

I climbed into bed and gently nudged Melanie to make a little room and settled in for the night with my back to her.

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 08:01:52 GMT

So I'm sitting here at the nursing station and between the hours of 0200 and 0300 I'm doing some work creating new forms for the nurses to use.

As I'm working away, I glance up at the monitor for a second and an overwhelming feeling of Deja Vu comes over me.

I saw that moment in a dream a long time ago, (I don't remember how long) but I dismissed it because it totally didn't make sense.

I've asked people if they've had similar experiences and most say they haven't.

I wish there was some way to prove it.

I know there are people out there that have dreams that come to pass.

I swear I am not making this shit up.

I am not mentally ill and I do not use substances.

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:03:29 GMT

Wow, it's been more than a month since I posted here.

I wish I could say I was too busy, but that's just not the case.

Things have been weird since my last significant post.

I still haven't even finished my post from Halifax last year.

It looks like I'm on nights for the next 5 weeks at my new post here in Addictions, so I'll have plenty of time to do all kinds of reading, writing and thinking.

So much more to come, it isn't funny.

Stay tuned.

Sat, 26 May 2007 14:12:44 GMT

Got a new car 3 weeks ago to replace the ailing Dodge Colt that I had been driving for the last 1.5 years.

As luck would have it, I was contemplating replacing the factory stereo system when I discovered that I can link my iPod to it and play songs from it.

w00t!

Still working on a bunch of entries from last year.

Eeeeesh.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:23:14 GMT

I want so badly to cry right now.

But I can't.

I'd say it's because I have nothing left, but I know that's not true.

I hate feeling like this.

I didn't do anything to deserve the shitcanning I just got.

It's like I'm being punished, but I haven't done anything wrong.

To anyone.

I've just been working, training and concentrating on my police application.

The second I open my heart to someone, I get shafted.

I never hurt anyone's feelings.

I never made anyone cry.

All I want is to love someone who will love me in return.

No games.

No drama.

No bullshit.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 18:37:16 GMT

So I got called into a "special meeting" this morning.

Some really important names were there. The President and Vice President of OPSEU, the Head of Human Resources, the Unit Manager, Administration Manager, the Clinical Head of Emergency Services and the Advanced Practice Nurse.

All those people to tell me that I'm going to lose my position in EAU and be "redeployed" elsewhere in CAMH. The kicker is that I may not be redeployed into a nursing position.

Actually, it's not just me. It's all the RPN's, which is much worse than I had anticipated. I'd suspected that I would be getting the axe for several weeks, but I thought I'd be the only one from ER/EAU to go. The OPSEU newsletter mentioned 17 RPN's being eliminated, but I thought they'd be from various parts of the Centre rather than all on one unit.

The saving grace is that no one is left without a job.

So far, anyway.

At this point, it's looking like my last day in EAU is April 1st.

This only reinforces the need to get hired onto Toronto Police for the April intake.

Stage 2 testing on February 20th...

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:26:43 GMT

After a humiliating failure at my first attempt at the PREP test in 8 years back in October 2006, I was able to rock that bitch this morning, allowing me to progress to stage 2 testing in a few weeks.

Fates willing, I'll be granted an interview and make it in time for the April class intake.

It would be excellent timing, as there is a good chance I'll be laid off from CAMH or "redeployed" elsewhere as a part-timer thanks to the new budget proposal.

It's taken me nearly 6 months to write about my second trip to Halifax this past August. I'm still plugging away at it though.

More to come.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:40:17 GMT

New maximum barbell bench press - 275lbs

Almost lifted 295lbs, but my arms gave out halfway during the lift.

300lbs is so close I can taste it.

Damn.

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 23:34:30 GMT

This is my horoscope for today.

Deep down inside, you know what is holding you back -- even if you don't want to admit it. But today, the universe is going to let you know that it is time to face up to it and get rid of it. You may get a glimpse of what will happen if you don't move on, or you may be shown the possibilities of what can happen to your life if you do. It can be difficult to accept when something is over, but if you hold on too long, you won't be doing yourself any favors.

It's a couple of days late, but this is pretty much exactly what happened to me.

More on this at another time.

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 06:19:21 GMT

On Wednesday January 3rd, 2007, Thomas (Homer) asked me to be the only usher at his wedding in just over 6 months' time.

Perhaps against my better judgement, I accepted. Better than being the best man a second time, I suppose.

Weddings suck when you're single.

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 23:38:44 GMT

So today's Boxing Day.

I actually boxed with a sparring partner.

Kinda lame, but I can say I did it.

So this is Christmas...

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 15:57:40 GMT

On Friday December 22nd 2006, Bryan informally asked me to be the best man at his wedding in 8 months' time.

Perhaps against my better judgement, I accepted.

Christmas sucks when you're single.

The Saga Continues

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 21:48:26 GMT

This is my horoscope for today in the Toronto Star:

"It's too late to lock the stable door, if the horse has already bolted. But by leaving it open, you allow the option for the horse to return. You shouldn't yet close the door on a certain saga."

Since my last entry, there have been beginnings and there have been endings.

All will be revealed in time.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 23:28:47 GMT

I had to put my cat down today.

Time of death: 1834

RIP Buttons

1998 - 2006

I'm so sorry.

Please don't be mad.

I love you.

Goodbye.

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 19:20:48 GMT

Lately, my life has been a lot less like a game of Max Payne and a lot more like a game of Baldur's Gate.

Particularly the portions where your party is in a town. Except that I don't have any major quests and I don't have a party.

Weird.